Heartache and laughter?

When I left university, the industry I'd trained for had stopped employing people, so I had to just get any old job that would have me. I was disappointed, I felt useless. I hadn't done as well as I'd expected, I knew I was capable of more. I felt I'd let my parents down as they'd helped fund me through uni with limited funds themselves. I felt I'd let down myself and my family. To add to that I couldn't get a job, so I ended up applying for anything. It took a while, but I ended up working in a shop.

I had to walk to and from work everyday. I spent most of that time crying. 

I felt like a failure and didn't want to be around any more. I was lonely and unfulfilled. My life hadn't worked out how I'd wanted in more ways than one.

Yet, no one else knew the inner pain I was in. People saw me as a happy, bubbly person. I became good at, 'putting a good face on' - pretending I was happy when my heart was troubled. I'd laugh and joke at work, church, out with friends, even with family. I pretended to have fun and be happy because I didn't want to upset or worry anyone. In reality I was laughing on the outside, crying on the inside. 

It was a really hard period of life, and went on for a long time. I knew the distraught feeling of failure deep inside, yet people saw me as a happy person and I couldn't let them down. It was like I was two people - The sad internal reality and the upbeat, happy outer person. 

Even in laughter the heart may ache, 

and the end of joy may be grief. 

Proverbs 14:13

A laugh or happy time lasts for a moment, the despair and grief that takes hold of the heart outlives them both. It's hard work keeping up the pretence of being happy. I knew that no-one knew the inner anguish I felt because of what I outwardly portrayed. 

If you are going through a period of inner anguish, please don't be like me. 

Please don't suffer alone. 

It is a part of life that grief, heart-ache, laughter and joy will come. You don't have to go through it alone. Despite what internally you are saying to yourself, people do care, there are those that love you. 

There is also someone who is bigger and stronger than your circumstances that loves you - God. The God who created you, created you for purpose. He loves you. He is with you, He will never let you down. 

He dragged me through that time. He didn't answer my prayers to die, but over time he showed me what it is like to live. Now, when I laugh, it's not a cover up. It's not a pretence, it's the real deal. There are still times when I feel down, but I don't try to cover it up. I am who I am. Life happens, there are good bits and not good bits, but we can get through it well. We don't need to put a mask and pretend we are ok when we are not. Ask God to help you. 

I had no idea that God even heard me when I was feeling desperate, but I asked him to help. Now my life is different, yours can be to. You could even turn this verse around to say, 'even in heartache there is laughter, at the end of grief there is joy'. 

Where does your help come from?

Where do you look for help?

Psalm 121 says; 

'I lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?' (V1)

Hills? How how can the hills help you?

In your troubles, what good will looking at hills do? They are big and awesome but they are not going to be able to change your circumstances. They are silent and unmoving - what help are they going to be? So, what CAN help?

 The next verse tells us the best place to seek help - 'My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.'

Looking elsewhere for assistance is as useless as looking at the hills and expecting an answer. What kind of answer do you expect to get from other sources? If your natural impulse is to have a few drinks, go shopping, clean, or a whole host of other options - do those things make your situation better? They may distract or numb our feelings for a bit, but they do t give us the answers we seek. They are as useful as the hills in our hours of need.

'my help comes from the maker of heavens and Earth.'

Personally, I don't look at the hills, or other things whether nature or man made. My help comes from the one who made all that stuff. He has made the hills, and everything else you see around you. He's kept this Earth in motion and sustained it for thousands of years. So, He seems to know what he's doing. 

So, when trouble comes and I need help in my little life in comparison even to one hill or one of those years, I know where my help is. I know the one who has strength and power to help me. 

Now, my testimony is not that He always takes away the trouble, but he ALWAYS helps me through it. 

I have not had a perfect life, nor an easy one in some ways, but I'm still standing! 

I have seen; death, experienced grief and rejection, financial difficulty, known disappointment and illness. Most of you reading this have probably experienced those things too. 

I can tell you that when I call out to God when I'm in trouble (and I do t always - I'm not perfect!) God has often given peace to me when I should of felt stressed and overwhelmed. 

He has helped me keep a straight head when all around seems to be chaos. I am not perfect though, so when trouble comes I haven't always called out to God, and those times have been harder because I rely on myself. The reality is, you and I are not big enough or strong enough to handle some of the troubles of life, and we are not meant to. 

There is one who is though, the 'maker of heaven and earth' who is big enough and strong enough to carry you through any situation. 

He made the whole world that we live in, He can definitely help you in your troubles. 

If you've found your current ways of dealing with trouble don't help, why not try a new way and ask God, the maker of heaven and Earth? 

Joy

John 15:10

If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. 

There are some great promises here. Great promises of joy and love. 

We can have complete, unending joy - great pleasure and happiness. 

So, where is it???

I would think most of the time, we don't feel the great pleasure that is joy. We may feel contentment, but joy?

Jesus insists that his own obedience to the Father, the fact that he has kept the commandments, is the grounding for his joy. 

He has done what his father God has told him to, and so stayed in his love. He has acknowledged and displayed God's love in and through his obedience. 

This is what leads to joy. 

Through obeying what we are told to do, we are showing respect, trust and love in the person we are obedient to. Just think about it from a parents point of view. They ask you to do something, if you do it they are proud of you and they see your love in action. This then leads to them being happy and showing their happiness to you, you then feel happy and more loved. It's like a cycle - Put obedience in, give others joy, you then feel joy and want to be more obedient.

When we feel loved, we feel joy. 

We can feel loved when we are obedient to God, our everlasting parent, then we can know what joy is. One of the wonderful things I noticed about these verse is not only do we get to be joyful, but Jesus also finds joy in us! How amazing is that?! 

Jesus can find joy in you when you show your love for God by doing what he asks! Wow! 

Spread the joy! 

Love and Hatred

Hatred stirs up strife, 

but love covers all offences

Proverbs 10:12

This verse is about love and hatred -  two intense emotions, opposite in their nature and effects. Lets have a look at them. 

Hatred. 

Now, I don't think anyone really sets out to hate anyone or anything. It's usually that an offence has been made, there may of been a conflict and it has been unsatisfactorily resolved. This then can cause mistrust, resentment, annoyance- hatred. People don't usually intend to hate things, it's not the goal, it is an unfortunate conclusion.

I think we can all see that hatred is not a positive, fulfilling emotion. It is not something that makes us feel good. In fact when our attention is upon the person or thing that causes hatred, an immense anger can swell up within us. We can be consumed by thoughts of vengeance, or as my kids like to call it 'payback'. We stir ourselves up, get wound up, and though these thoughts may never be put into action, our hearts, bodies and minds go into overdrive. We are ready to cause some 'strife'! 
In fact, we've already caused strife because of the way we respond. It causes strife within us let alone around us. We feel uneasy, unhappy, angry and hurt when we consider the object of hatred. That's not a way most of us want to be going about our daily lives.

So, what about love?

Love is often associated with feelings - deep affection, a preference of one person or thing to another. When we love someone/thing we put ourselves ou and we overlook offences. We give people a chance and try to think the best of them. We allow people to get things wrong, guide them and help them in what we believe is a better way. 
We have to accept at times that we will disagree, but even if there's conflict, we make an effort to restore relationship. We don't continually bring a list of another's faults to attention every time we think of them, we 'cover' their offences. This means we forgive and move on. 

So, looking at it objectively, love is always the better way. The results are clearly different. 

Can we exchange one feeling for another? 

I look at what the outcome of love is, and see that we demonstrate love (or hate) in the choices we make. Do we try to make up when we've fallen out with someone? Do we forgive? Do we make an effort to straighten things out so that we can continue to disagree but not let it effect our ongoing relationships? Do we continue to focus on the negative?

The definition of love is a strong affection, but I would argue that it is much more than that. Love is proved in action. It takes time and needs to be demonstrated. If you love someone they would know by what you do. 

So,  if you're struggling with hatred today, it would probably be far too difficult to jump into love. What you can do is be mindful of what you do and say. Love and hatred require action. If you want to get rid of the anger, bitterness and resentment then you can choose today what you are going to do about it. It won't be easy, but it is a choice only you can make. 

Live in love or remain on hatred?

Are you average?

I am an average woman. I don't really stand out - average; height, build, weight and I lead a pretty average life. 

Now, that probably doesn't sound very exciting or unique does it?! But, can we be content to be average? 

This world invites us to be the best. Be the top at something, have a pretty physical figure, or a pretty figure for an income. We are encouraged to find out what makes us stand out. Lets face it, most of us are not gifted in the brain department like Einstein, or gifted like Mother Theresa in compassion. The majority of us are not stand out types, we are average. 

Now, I am not trying to downplay myself or anyone else. I would say I'm average. The question I want to ask is - is it ok to be average? 

Many people aspire for more, there seems to be discontent with being average, I wonder why. Should I be content to be average? Or should I be striving for something more?

So, I started to think about people from the Bible who were average people. These average people impacted their families, communities and even nations. Not so bad being average then huh? Lets have a look at some of those people; 

Moses, an ordinary guy working as a shepherd, as did David. Ruth, an ordinary lady, working her hardest to provide for herself and her mother-in-law. Paul, a tent maker, working with other tent makers, moving around and making money. Yet, these people are not remembered for these things. I love that this same Paul in one letter says this, "I was not at all inferior to these super-apostles, even though I am nothing." 

2 Corinthians 12:11. 

It's like he recognises that he's not anyone special, but he's also not less than anyone else - he is average.

Yes, we are not at all inferior to anyone else, we are all individually handcrafted by God. There is no-one else in the world like you, but also, you are probably pretty average. You are no less than anyone else, even though you are also nothing - What a paradox! 

Paul is right. We are no less than the best of the human race, even though we can all quite readily admit that we are also nothing special. We are average human beings, living average human lives. 

Yet....

Looking at history, current events and examples from the Bible we see so many average people who are involved in transforming lives. Whether it be; a moment of kindness, a spur of the moment donation, a smile, working hard with integrity. These things make a mighty difference to the lives of others. 

You may not even know it, but the impact of how you lead your everyday, average life, can impact many. 

Paul, a tent maker, working, making a living, spurred churches onwards in their faith. Ruth, working hard to gather enough food to eat, married one of the richest guys around and became an ancestor of Jesus. She never knew this would happen. Living her life with integrity clearly impacted generations to come. 

Moses, looking after the family sheep, gets invited to lead a whole nation! 

David, the youngest in his family, taking care of the sheep, not even invited to a celebration, eventually became a King! 

Looking at the lives of these people, they started out pretty average. They got on with what life gave them, they worked hard, treated others well, they were content with the life they had. They may of hoped and dreamed of other things, but God found them in their average lives. 

Your life, however average or not it is, will impact the generations to come. You impact your family and community merely by your presence. What do those around you see in you? What are you leaving for the generations to come? 

My Nan had a massive impact on my life. Yet she was old, mainly in a wheelchair, in and out of hospital. What I remember of her is the time, the conversations, the care and the love that she showed me. Her life is still impacting me now. 

Your life will leave marks on those around you.

Your everyday average life has the power to impact generations! 

Rebuilding community

Looking around us we see that the world is struggling. There are; wars, famine, disasters, family breakdowns, among a multitude of other situations that can cause us to worry, fear, or to even fight back at the injustice around us. We can get inundated with terrible tales of what is happening in our world, even our own country.

I have been greatly encouraged recently hearing the details of current events in the U.K. The situations themselves have been horrific, and the stories unfolding of individuals tragedies are awful.

However, have you noticed the response?

The wonderful, beautiful spirit of comaraderie, companionship, community? I have been amazed at people's response, from individuals to churches, businesses and leisure centres, the rich and the poor. All have come together to ease the tremendous burden people have been put under, not by choice, but by tragedy.

I want to say WELL DONE and to all of those who have helped, prayed and supported those involved in these circumstances. Sadly I don't think this will be the last of the tragedy to hit the U.K, but thank you to all those who have responded. You have mad a difference.

Britain is often thought of as an individualistic society, we have lost something of the community spirit that once existed on our fine shores. We all seem to be out to better ourselves, improve ourselves, and create a better future for those following us.
Yet, recently, many have set aside time and money to respond. To show care, love and support for those who are suffering. They have rebirthed something of the community spirit back into the U.K.

Let's not lose it.

Let's talk to those on our street, continue to offer a hand to those who are in need.

It is clear that this individualistic society is not what everyone wants. When people have been in need whether it be in Manchester or London, so many hundreds of people have offered assistance. Help that they wouldn't normally think to provide. why is that? We all have reasons for not getting involved doing in our local communities - don't have time, or the money, kids don't want to, it doesn't fit with my lifestyle. There are many constraints, yet we have now glimpsed something better.

I have been challenged by this marvellously uplifting response to our fellow citizens in need.
It may seem too big to think how we can create a community spirit where we live, but can you do this with just one person? Involve one person in your life, someone who may be; lonely, busy, sad, struggling. Could you reach out to one person? Yes, it will cost. It may cost you your time or money, or cause your family to wonder what on Earth you are doing. Imagine though, if we all invested in one person how many people would be impacted.
If, in the Grenfell towers disaster, if just one person had offered one person a place to sleep, how much impact that would have in their life. The joy, relief, probably unspeakable. We can provide that joy and relief to those around us. Whether it be noticing that someone at the checkout doesn't have enough cash, a Mum is struggling with bags and baby, or maybe your neighbours lawn really needs doing. We can all make a difference in someone's life.

In this fragile time in our country, I am proud to be British, we know how to respond in times of trial and extend the hand of friendship. Let's continue to do so.

What kind of learner are you?

How many of us can say this;

"I did not listen to the voice of my teachers 

or incline my ear to my instructors"

Proverbs 5:13

Oh yes, I am sure most of us can relate to not doing as we are told! 

I know now, having children that I am often heard saying, "why don't you listen?!". However aren't we all the same, can't we all relate to having not fully taken in what people say? 

Let's think for a minute about the people who are speaking into our lives. 

Being an instructor, being a teacher is hard work. Yet, how often is the work rewarded by someone that truly listens? Someone who really hears what is said, is willing to learn and does what is instructed first time (not thirty first!). 

How much easier is it to train someone who listens and applies what is said -it's easy, it's a breeze and it's a joy. Those that are ready to listen and have a go are the best students, it doesn't matter how many times they need to hear something, it's a pleasure when you know they're trying.

In life we have opportunities to learn all the time, so what kind of student are you? Are you a joy to teach or a laborious task?

Learning also is hard work. 

More often than not we would rather be doing something else; playing games, gazing out the window, sometimes even the housework looks more fun than applying ourselves to something we know we ought to do. Learning takes effort. We cannot assimilate information by just being present in a learning environment. If I just sit in a history classroom I am not automatically going to leave that place knowing the facts of the plaque or the world wars. The information is not going to seep into my brain by just being present. I would need to focus, engage and make an effort to take in and apply the information. 

When you are learning, when you are taught, you may be present, but are you actually applying yourself? Are you just sitting through the lecture, mandatory training, or lesson just waiting for the bell to go for the break? Or are you focussed, applied and wanting to get something out of this session rather than considering it a chore?

What kind of student are you? 

Is it a laborious task for your teachers to instruct you? Or a joy?

Life is full of opportunities to learn. Are you making most of them?