Loving your enemies

 

18*This dream I, King Nebuchadnezzar, saw. And you, O Belteshazzar, tell me the interpretation, because all the wise men of my kingdom are not able to make known to me the interpretation, but you are able, for the spirit of the holy gods is in you.” 

19*Then Daniel, whose name was Belteshazzar, was dismayed for a while, and his thoughts alarmed him. The king answered and said, “Belteshazzar, let not the dream or the interpretation alarm you.” Belteshazzar answered and said, “My lord, may the dream be for those who hate you and its interpretation for your enemies! 

Daniel 4:18–19.

Do you notice how Daniel here is very respectful and kind? 

He demonstrates care and honour towards Nebuchadnezzar. I think this is interesting knowing their history. Daniel has been living as one of the king’s leaders in the city of Babylon for quite some time. His formative years were disrupted by battle, and he was conscripted into the Babylonian leadership program in his youth, not much choice in the matter. He has also been hunted down by the kings soldiers to be killed, and watched his friends face the furnace. Nebuchadnezzar was the orchestrator of all these things, and Daniel still treats him with respect and honour. When Daniel is given the understanding of this dream by God, he isn’t smug or pleased, or looking for revenge. Daniel instead, demonstrates care. We see this in the hesitance in verse 19, where Daniel is ‘dismayed for a while’, he does not want to reveal the meaning of this dream, and he wishes out loud that the dream was not for Nebuchadnezzar, but for his enemy because it makes Daniel sad that the outcome is for this man. 

Does that make you wonder how Daniel has not built resentment but affection for this king? How has Daniel managed to extend forgiveness to this foreign king who had tried to kill him in the past, and has even now used him as a last resort? 

I wonder how any of us would have responded in that situation.

How has Daniel extended kindness, respect and loyalty to one who has shown him none?

I am sure that many of us, if we were in the same circumstance, may well have seen Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonians as everyday enemies, and some may even be waiting for a chance to bring the whole lot down. Having cultured resentment in their hearts, even praying for a time of comeuppance. Not Daniel. He has learnt, grown and served in this kingdom, all the while keeping hold of God with his friends. He must have forgiven and accepted his life and the opportunities it has raised for him despite the circumstances. He has been a willing and loyal leader and respects the leadership of the king. He has spent years serving the country, and has probably focussed on the good things, looking for qualities in the king that are admirable and likeable. So that, now, we can see genuine disappointment and sadness when Daniel has bad news for this Nebuchadnezzar.

Are there people in your life that you have learnt to love when they were once enemies? 

Who do you need to be praying for, and seeing the best in in your life? 

Is there an awkward boss, colleague or neighbour that has made your life difficult? 

My advice is pray for these people, and ask God to show you how you can help them. Ask God to show you the good in them and, if you dare, ask God to help you like them, even love them. 

We can do it. Daniel did. Jesus did. Look at the impact they had - how different could your life, and the lives of those around you be if you trust God in the most tricky relationships you have?

Forgiveness

I find it hard to forgive.

Most of the time, I don't 'feel like it'. 

Which probably means that I have already built up some hardness of heart, sadness and perhaps a little resentment. 

The problem is though, I don't like feeling these things either; resentment, hard heartedness, sadness, none of them make me feel any good. But on the other hand, I find it hard to forgive because there's a sense of being wronged that I'm not always ready to move away from. It seems like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place!

I don't like carrying any of these feelings around, but there's something inside me that seems like I'm justified to feel that way. To truly forgive, these things would have to break. I'd have to 'let go' and move on. But letting go is hard work, it's a constant state of remembrance that I'm not going to live under a certain action, set of words or injustices. 

Forgiveness is hard work!

I recognise that it does me no good for me to live with unforgiveness because of the feelings it builds up, yet it's a battle to forgive because I've got to get past my own sense of being valued and being right.

My offence may be justified, the other; person, organisation or thing may not deserve to be forgiven, but what good does it do me not to forgive? 

I do not feel like forgiving, I feel wronged. But do I want to end up living with the weight of unforgiveness? 

I don't want to carry that. It can breed mistrust, fear and a loss of hope. Without forgiveness I end up burdened by resentment, bitterness, and even grief.

That is not good for me, it's not good for any of us. 

I have discovered that by not forgiving, I don't end up hurting those that have offended me, I end up hurting myself. I don't end up feeling good inside, I don't feel happy in fact I usually feel pretty lousy and grumpy with the world.

So, what am I going to do about it? Well, I've been thinking. If not forgiving things makes me grumpy, unhappy, resentful, fearful and hopeless, then what's the point? I don't know about you, but life can seem pretty hard sometimes, so why make it harder for myself? 

Choosing not to forgive can seem to pile up unpleasantness around us and I want to enjoy the life I've got while I've got it.

So, it's a new year, maybe I can make a new decision to become more forgiving. 

That's something else I've realised. Forgiveness is a choice. A hard one at times, but forgiveness is not really a feeling. It's an action, a decision.

It's not an easy process, and I do have to remind myself that I have forgiven certain things, it's like I have to keep telling myself to let something go, or to stop thinking about it because negative emotions can creep in. 

If you are living life with unforgiveness, I'd like to let you know that It doesn't hurt the offender to not forgive them, it hurts you. 

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” 
― Oscar Wilde

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” 
― C.S. Lewis

9 "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
    but dwelling on it separates close friends."

- Proverbs 17:9