The art of conversation

 *19*Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; *20*for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. *21*Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. 

James 1:19–21.

This is hard isn’t it?! Quickly hearing, being slow to speak and slow to become angry? Who, reading this is slow to speak and slow to become angry? 

It is very easy to become annoyed and offended, or to feel you have to defend yourself in a conversation, or even that you can predict what someone is going to say and so you try to hurry up their communication. It is not so easy to patiently listen. This means concentrating on what is being said without interruption and then considering a response before giving one. This is hard work and not natural for most of us, so we need to train ourselves to do it well as it is important. Not just because James says so, but think about the last time you felt that someone wasn't listening to what you were saying. Maybe they were distracted, trying to speed you up or interrupting what you were saying - how did that feel for you? Annoying, upsetting, frustrating? You probably felt that the person you were attempting to communicate with didn't have time for you, wasn't bothered and you could have felt unvalued. That is how I would feel in that situation. Thats probably how most of us feel, do you want others to feel like that when they are speaking to you? Now, consider a time when you really felt heard. It is likely that you felt valued, loved, grateful, understood, happy, content and relieved. Don't you want people to feel like that when they speak to you?

Not only is considering your conversational techniques important to how you show care to people, but it also matters to God. You and I need to get to grips with our responses because lack of control over our speech, ‘does not produce the righteousness of God’. Careless, thoughtless, unconsidered speech does not show that you are a follower of God. Simple truth. Getting angry quickly, not listening and speaking without consideration do not show that you are endeavouring to put Jesus first in your life. Listening carefully, speaking considerately and behaving patiently do.

No wonder James goes onto say in verse 21, ‘put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness’ because being impatient in conversation can lead to speaking and acting in anger. This then shows the filth and wickedness that is in you, not the righteousness that Jesus has won for you. I have heard, as you probably have, people say, ‘I couldn’t help it’ and ‘they wound me up’, do you ever make these comments or have these thoughts? If so, who does it show is really in control of your life? Are you responsible for your own thoughts, words and actions or are other people? God did not build you to be a puppet or wind up toy that comes into action because of outside influences. God created you in His image. 

The best way to consider how God would respond is to look at how Jesus handled conversations. There are many times when people tried to catch him out with words, but because he really listened to the heart of the matter he was able to give clever, considered responses as and when they needed. Jesus never reacted how expected, he could confidently respond because he took time to consider what was being communicated, and what his responsibility was in how he responded. Jesus honoured His Father by doing so and displayed his own righteousness. You have a responsibility to manage your communications, by doing so you too can honour your Father in heaven and display, 'the righteousness of God'.

God responds to prayer

In Chapter 9, Daniel records a prayer that he made to God regarding the prophecy from Jeremiah about the length of the exile of the Jews. After reading the prophetic word he realises that, in his understanding, this time frame is almost complete, and so he responds in prayer and fasting. Through his prayer Daniel repents for the nation, and declares God’s faithfulness. He acknowledges that man does not keep his word, but God does. 

As Daniel is praying, God responds by sending an angel named Gabriel to him to explain and comfort him. This is the greeting Gabriel gives;

“O Daniel, I have now come out to give you insight and understanding. *23*At the beginning of your pleas for mercy a word went out, and I have come to tell it to you, for you are greatly loved. Therefore consider the word and understand the vision. 

Daniel 9:22–23.

Gabriel came, on purpose to meet Daniel. He did not delay, but came straight away as God sent him. God responds to our prayers. Daniel's prayer was; heartfelt, confused and yearning for God's will to be done. Daniel was praying beyond himself, praying into scripture and seeking God for the fulfilment of His words. So, for clarification for Daniel, God sends an angel, Gabriel. God listened and responded to Daniel’s ‘pleas’. He heard Daniel, and wanted to invite Daniel into a greater understanding of the situation and of God's plans, so he sent Gabriel. This shows me that God does not want us to be blind about what is happening in our lives, communities, nations, or even in Scripture. God desires us to seek Him about it as Daniel did, and as we do that He will give insight and understanding. 

We all have times when we don't know or understand what is going on. Times when the struggle is real, when we cannot see what God is doing (is He doing anything?), the thing is though, at those times, what is your response? Do you respond like Daniel does? When you are confused, upset and annoyed by what is happening, do you approach God about it? Intentionally seeking His purpose and will through prayer and fasting? Or do you have a good grumble along with others or retreat into internal despair? 

Daniel models the best response - he recognises the weakness and sin of man, and the dependable, righteous, just character of God, and he asks God about what He is doing. Daniel reminds Him of His word, and waits for an answer. Do you do that? Are you brave enough to approach God like that? Tell Him what is wrong, what you are struggling with, admit what you or others have done wrong, recognise who God is and ask Him what is happening and how His words are being fulfilled? 

It is ok to talk to God in this manner - we see different characters in the Bible praying in a similar way - David in the Psalms, Moses leading Israel - just 2 examples from the top of my head. These people ‘get real’ with God. They let Him know how they are REALLY feeling, remind Him of His words and ask what He is doing about it. God doesn’t mind if we speak to Him like that. I wonder if, in fact, He likes it? The raw honesty, heartache, frustration and confusion pouring out onto His ears as He listens as our good father. This kind of outpouring to God builds relationship with Him. It is honest, hopeful and reliant on God. Reminding ourselves of who God really is as we acknowledge the difficulties of life. Ever been so consumed and concerned about a situation that you have approached God in prayer and fasting like Daniel? Bringing your heartfelt emotions, your acknowledgement of sin, your understanding and your questions before God -ever done that?

When you do approach God like this, you should know that not only does God listen, but He also responds. He responds to repentance and the search for understanding and revelation. It may not be in the way you expect, or the answer you desire, but God replies. 

When you pray, do you also listen or watch out for God's response? Do you wait for God to speak to you and give you insight?