I will guard my mouth with a muzzle

 

Psalm 39:1–13 (ESV):  

1  I said, “I will guard my ways, 

that I may not sin with my tongue; 

I will guard my mouth with a muzzle, 

so long as the wicked are in my presence.” 

2  I was mute and silent; 

I held my peace to no avail, 

and my distress grew worse. 

3  My heart became hot within me. 

As I mused, the fire burned; 

then I spoke with my tongue: 

4  “O Lord, make me know my end 

and what is the measure of my days; 

let me know how fleeting I am! 

5  Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, 

and my lifetime is as nothing before you. 

Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah 

6  Surely a man goes about as a shadow! 

Surely for nothing they are in turmoil; 

man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather! 

7  “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? 

My hope is in you. 

8  Deliver me from all my transgressions. 

Do not make me the scorn of the fool! 

9  I am mute; I do not open my mouth, 

for it is you who have done it. 

10  Remove your stroke from me; 

I am spent by the hostility of your hand. 

11  When you discipline a man 

with rebukes for sin, 

you consume like a moth what is dear to him; 

surely all mankind is a mere breath! Selah 

12  “Hear my prayer, O Lord, 

and give ear to my cry; 

hold not your peace at my tears! 

For I am a sojourner with you, 

a guest, like all my fathers. 

13  Look away from me, that I may smile again, 

before I depart and am no more!” 

Clearly, David is experiencing another time of distress, and it is a time when he is adamant not to discuss his frustration with other people. So he is enforcing himself to be, 'mute and silent’. This is a powerful and tremendously difficult thing to do. The natural, and most common thing for people to do when they are unhappy and annoyed is to share their situation; moan, whinge, rant or cry. So David does something very unusual by vowing to be silent whilst the 'wicked' were within earshot. David was suffering as he was pondering life. He seems to have sinned as he speaks about God's rebukes and discipline, and this has got him considering the brevity of life. He does not want his words and concerns to be misconstrued by others and so he resolves to be quiet about the internal disturbance he is dealing with. He decides to, ‘guard my ways’, ‘not sin with my tongue’ and ‘guard my mouth with a muzzle’. David really restricted himself didn't he?! These phrases sound harsh and painful! You can sense the frustration David feels and also the level of internal discomfort he is feeling. David disciplined himself and was strict with himself with what he said and to whom he said it. This is a sign of wisdom. 

Being able to discern how, when, if and with whom a matter needs to be discussed takes a lot of consideration. David recognised that his words could cause a negative impact if he used them wrongly, and as he was feeling confused and frustrated with life, he knew expressing that to other people would effect the faith they had in God. So, David forced his mouth shut. He knew the power of his words. He saw that speaking without consideration and talking to the wrong audience can cause sin and damage. As a man of God and as a king, he wisely considered how to manage his thoughts, fears and feelings as expressing these to the wrong kind of people could cause untold damage to the kingdom of Israel as well as the kingdom of God. The same is true of you. Your words, or lack of them can impact the community you are apart of and the kingdom you represent. What does the way you deal with disappointment, discipline or frustration communicate about you and the God you believe in?

David fought to be electively silent. 

He found this incredibly difficult and frustrating. Do you also know the strain and pain of restraint? David muzzled himself because he was more concerned about being innocent before the ‘wicked’ and not dishonouring God than relieving his mind and emotions. So he patiently waited for the appropriate place,  time and audience. David waited until he could pour out all his thoughts, fears, emotions and pain before God. He knew the only one that could help, that could comfort, that could bring reassurance and relief was God, and so he waited until he could safely and honestly share his suffering with Him. David held this uncomfortable and painful silence so that he did not dishonour himself or God. He was aware that there were people around him, watching and listening that were ‘wicked’ and he did not want to share his anger or suffering in front of them or for them to overhear his musings and agitations. They could misuse the information to defame David or God and so David 'burned' as he guarded his mouth. His ‘distress grew worse' yet he remained adamant in his vow of silence over the matters of his mind. He was unable to explain or alleviate his mind until he had a chance to speak with God. Is this what you do when you have a burdening heart and a distressed mind? Are you able to be, 'mute and silent' awaiting for a chance to speak to God even when anger and confusion seem to burn inside of you? It takes a great deal of self-discipline to do so. It is hard, and it is painful, yet it can be to your ultimate benefit and to the benefit of God's kingdom.

We can learn from this psalm several things:

• You can sin with your words. So learning to guard your mouth as David did is essential for your righteousness. It is important that you consider your words and not just speak on a whim or out of anger. At times it is better to ‘burn’ inside with anger and frustration than speak out and cause damage to; others, yourself and to offend God. 
• Sharing your emotions is important, but it needs to be done in the right manner and with the right audience. God can hear and bear all of your fear, frustrations, joy, happiness and anger. He is the One who can come and comfort and can change circumstances and ease your mind. Therefore you need to consider who you share your burdens with. 
• Keeping your deepest thoughts and feelings between you and God is ok. In fact it is the best idea!  He will always take time to listen and he understands your heart. Therefore you can share your internal turbulence with Him no matter what it is. If you share your concerns and frustrations with others, some will use what you say to think badly of God and your faith. Some will give you terrible advice and some will not understand but may gossip about your turmoil rather than assisting you in it. Therefore when you are in turmoil consider if you too should take a vow of silence on the matter as David did. Before speaking to others, talk to God and ask Him if there are people of faith that you can trust and share your concerns with.
• Silence can be more powerful than words. It takes a lot of discipline and self-control to not talk of your worries and frustrations. David's silence must have been noted especially as he was in a state of distress, but he knew it was the right course of action for the situation he was in. He knew others could misconstrue his words or dishonour God if he talked to them, so he kept a powerful, God-honouring silence. He did not defend himself or God, but struggled on. When people go through trying seasons without grumbling, it demonstrates an incredible strength.

David knew no-one could assist him with some of his internal struggles, only God. The same is true for you. As, who else holds the answers to life? Who else can explain the purpose of our own lives? 

Lord, rebuke me not in your anger

 Psalm 6

1  O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, 

nor discipline me in your wrath. 

2  Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; 

heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled. 

3  My soul also is greatly troubled. 

But you, O Lord—how long? 

4  Turn, O Lord, deliver my life; 

save me for the sake of your steadfast love. 

5  For in death there is no remembrance of you; 

in Sheol who will give you praise? 

6  I am weary with my moaning; 

every night I flood my bed with tears; 

I drench my couch with my weeping. 

7  My eye wastes away because of grief; 

it grows weak because of all my foes. 

8  Depart from me, all you workers of evil, 

for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. 

9  The Lord has heard my plea; 

the Lord accepts my prayer. 

10  All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; 

they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment

At the opening of this Psalm, David accepts that he has done things wrong as he says, ‘O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.’ This is an admission that he deserves correction and punishment. He acknowledges that the season of suffering he is going through is warranted, it is his own fault as he has gone his own way, done his own thing. How brave and honest David is to admit that!

Do you do the same? Do you accept that sometimes you suffer, experience pain and hardship due to your own wrongdoing? Do you admit that actually, sometimes, you deserve the difficult times that have come upon you because you have messed up and not done things the way God wants you to?

David acknowledges his faults and pleads with God not to, ‘discipline me in your wrath’. Instead of asking God to wipe away all the difficulty and release him from suffering and punishment, David recognises that he has earned this correction, but he asks for leniency. David knows the awesome capability of God, so he humbly asks God to not pour out punishment in His anger. 

There’s a difference between discipline and angry discipline isn’t there? You see it when a parent corrects a child. If the parent is in a calm frame of mind the discipline will focus on repentance, making amends and some considered consequences, yet if the wrongdoing is dealt with from a position of anger - that child is going to really suffer and the punishment is going to be harsh. This is what David is afraid of and seeking to avoid. He knows what he has done wrong, he is sorry for it and accepts that there are consequences for his actions, but he does not want an angry outpouring from God, who does?! David has seen and read about how God deals with those He is angry with both through the scriptures and his own personal experience, so he was rightly afraid of having so displeased God that he would have to suffer like that. 

David knew he could approach God and ask for mercy because he was a man of faith who desired to honour God with his life. Although sometimes he made mistakes and sinned, he was quick to recognise, repent and mourn when he had gone awry. Are you quick to do the same? Do you quickly acknowledge, apologise and try to rectify what you have done wrong? Or do you ignore your faults and try to explain away your actions attempting to make them sound less bad or inconsequential? 

When you have done something wrong in your life, and you know it, are you aware that God may well correct you and that can look like suffering, confusion, illness and pain? Being corrected and punished by God is not something that we often like to consider. Those in David’s time would have been quick to acknowledge and consider suffering as a result of sin, in fact, that would probably be their first thought in times of difficulty. Nowadays, we are so aware of the grace, forgiveness and mercy of God that I do not think we really consider that we still deserve discipline. We are privileged to live in a time where we can believe and trust in the powerful work of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. His defeat of death and sin that were pinned to the cross as he died means that you and I no longer have to live with the guilt, shame or power of sin as Jesus has taken it all on. The reality is though that we do not always walk in that freedom. We still sin and displease God by our actions or inactions. No matter how hard you try, you will get it wrong sometimes, you will sin. When you do, are you quick to go to God about it and seek restoration? Do you realise that when you sin God may well rebuke you and discipline you?

You can know the forgiveness of God when you turn away from wrong and seek it, but be aware that sometimes a period of suffering is required. You can, as David did, ask for God to be merciful, to be lenient in His correction. If you know that you have disobeyed God, like David did, you may well have a season of feeling, ‘greatly troubled’. David tells us that both his body felt like it was breaking and dying, and his soul was distraught and David came to realise that it was due to his wrongdoing. Do you ever pause to consider that sometimes what you are suffering is due to sin? God still gets angry at sin and He may allow you to you get ill or have troubled times because you are not living your life in obedience to Him. 

You may not think this sounds like a very positive message, but a good, loving parent is one who disciplines their child. If you see that you are living in the consequences of sin and disobedience, then know that what you are going through shows that God loves and cares for you. You are His child, and so He will discipline you. You won’t like it, but you can speak to Him about it, you can repent, be forgiven, and you can ask, as David did, for God to show you mercy. 

Please note:

Not all suffering is a result of disobedience and sin (consider Job). Sometimes suffering occurs because of the reality of living in a broken and decaying world, or because of others’ sinfulness. So please do not think that all suffering is a punishment from God, but i think in general our society is too quick to absolve themselves from any responsibility, so it is good to ask ourselves, 'Lord, is there any wicked way in me'?

The art of conversation

 *19*Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; *20*for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. *21*Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. 

James 1:19–21.

This is hard isn’t it?! Quickly hearing, being slow to speak and slow to become angry? Who, reading this is slow to speak and slow to become angry? 

It is very easy to become annoyed and offended, or to feel you have to defend yourself in a conversation, or even that you can predict what someone is going to say and so you try to hurry up their communication. It is not so easy to patiently listen. This means concentrating on what is being said without interruption and then considering a response before giving one. This is hard work and not natural for most of us, so we need to train ourselves to do it well as it is important. Not just because James says so, but think about the last time you felt that someone wasn't listening to what you were saying. Maybe they were distracted, trying to speed you up or interrupting what you were saying - how did that feel for you? Annoying, upsetting, frustrating? You probably felt that the person you were attempting to communicate with didn't have time for you, wasn't bothered and you could have felt unvalued. That is how I would feel in that situation. Thats probably how most of us feel, do you want others to feel like that when they are speaking to you? Now, consider a time when you really felt heard. It is likely that you felt valued, loved, grateful, understood, happy, content and relieved. Don't you want people to feel like that when they speak to you?

Not only is considering your conversational techniques important to how you show care to people, but it also matters to God. You and I need to get to grips with our responses because lack of control over our speech, ‘does not produce the righteousness of God’. Careless, thoughtless, unconsidered speech does not show that you are a follower of God. Simple truth. Getting angry quickly, not listening and speaking without consideration do not show that you are endeavouring to put Jesus first in your life. Listening carefully, speaking considerately and behaving patiently do.

No wonder James goes onto say in verse 21, ‘put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness’ because being impatient in conversation can lead to speaking and acting in anger. This then shows the filth and wickedness that is in you, not the righteousness that Jesus has won for you. I have heard, as you probably have, people say, ‘I couldn’t help it’ and ‘they wound me up’, do you ever make these comments or have these thoughts? If so, who does it show is really in control of your life? Are you responsible for your own thoughts, words and actions or are other people? God did not build you to be a puppet or wind up toy that comes into action because of outside influences. God created you in His image. 

The best way to consider how God would respond is to look at how Jesus handled conversations. There are many times when people tried to catch him out with words, but because he really listened to the heart of the matter he was able to give clever, considered responses as and when they needed. Jesus never reacted how expected, he could confidently respond because he took time to consider what was being communicated, and what his responsibility was in how he responded. Jesus honoured His Father by doing so and displayed his own righteousness. You have a responsibility to manage your communications, by doing so you too can honour your Father in heaven and display, 'the righteousness of God'.

What is the best gift?

 Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. *3*In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, *4*and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, *5*but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. *6*The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? *7*If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” 

Genesis 4:2-7

What was Cain’s sin?

Some may know the section of scripture that comes next, but do you notice the indicators in these verses that something is wrong? Clearly, Cain wants to be the best, and be recognised as not just being accepted, but better than his brother. When he is not, he becomes jealous. This leads to disappointment and anger, but not regret or remorse. It seems that Cain’s offering was more about himself than about honouring God. He did it so God would be happy and commend him, instead God challenged and corrected him, yet Cain would not heed the advice. God even warned him that his mindset could lead to sin. God told him that if he didn’t sort out his own heart and response then it would lead somewhere he shouldn’t seek to go. The encouragement for Cain was to listen to instruction and learn to manage himself, to learn self-control. 

This is the kind of sacrifice God seeks.

Are you someone that gets jealous of others? That looks around to see if you are better in your own eyes than those around you? If so, what do you think God would be saying to you right now? You could even be doing things for God, diligently working for the church, but if you’re doing it to gain recognition from God or man, then your heart will become prideful if it isn’t already, and you need to watch out for the sin that is crunching ready to take you out, just like it was waiting for Cain.

Listen to God’s advice, 'If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” 

Watch out! If you catch yourself comparing yourself to others or being jealous of the gifts of others or their commendation, then you need to change your focus - ask yourself, what are you doing well? Is there something God is trying to tech you right now? Are you listening and doing what you know is right? 

The issue with the gifts given to God in this story is not about us all being the same and doing the same; Cain’s gift could not match Abel’s gift because they had different workloads and responsibility, yet Cain could still of brought the best of what he had. That is what God wants - the best you have, rather than being in competition with those around you. 

Cain could of accepted the rebuke and restored the relationship between himself and his brother and between him and God, yet he allowed his disappointment in himself to turn into self-pity and hatred. 

Be warned, and be aware of your own heart and mind before God and others. The temptations are there, there's an enemy waiting to prey on your dissatisfied mind, but are you willing to admit it and ask forgiveness? Are you willing to give the best sacrifice that is your own pride and desires? 

You have a choice, 'If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” 

Dealing with the fallout

After these things, when the anger of King Ahasuerus had abated, he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what had been decreed against her. 
 Esther 2:1

The problem with responding in anger is that you often regret your decision afterwards. The king clearly regrets his, yet he knows there’s no going back. Even if the king had wanted to return to his relationship with Vashti, and was able to overcome the new laws and his own pride, would Vashti have accepted?

Highly-charged emotional reactions, whether made in excitement or anger, effect more than our own lives, they effect relationships and possibly the choices we have in the future. It’s not only that, but everyone touched by our decisions has to bear the consequences and you can never truly go back to how things were before. Once words are spoken they cannot be unsaid and actions taken cannot be undone. That’s what Ahasuerus was finding out. It takes but a moment to break a relationship and it can take years to restore one, maybe even a lifetime.

Even if you are forgiven and never discuss the event again, the pain and memory still exist and trust has been damaged, sadly there’s no rewind button in life where you can just redo the scene again.

In this situation with Ahasuerus and Vashti, things are too far gone to be repaired. She has been banished from his presence, so even if they wanted to, they cannot get back together and work things out. It is sad isn’t it. There are ways to avoid this happening for yourself, ways to avoid the loneliness and the fallout, is there a change you need to make today? Is there a relationship in your life that needs restoration? Is there someone you need to forgive? And if you’re not sure how to get started, pray.