Know when to quit

When things get difficult, what do you do? Do you carry on or give up?  Do you continue to persevere or quit when the going gets tough? What's your natural inclination when things get hard?

I have been told that I am determined, perseverant, but I know really that it verges into stubbornness. When I start something I finish it. If I take on a challenge I complete it, if I do an exam I work so hard that I pass it. 

The thing is, I love a challenge, but I don't know when to stop! This may sound like I'm reliable and determined, but the problem is I can get stuck, but I struggle to recognise that I've reached capacity. I will continue with dogged determination no matter the suffering, the inconvenience or final result. Sometimes I may need to stop, but I don't. I may not have the skills, knowledge or availability but once I've started something I will see it through til the bitter end, and sometimes the end is bitter.

Others may find that they get to something difficult and they are ready to chuck it all in. They struggle to finish things. Maybe they give up too easily, good at starting things but not finishing them. They would probably appreciate a bit of the determination and perseverance that I have. 

So, there must be a middle ground. There must be a point where we learn to know when to quit at the right time. Whether that's to push ourselves to persevere because it will grow us and stretch us, or getting to the point where we let go of our pride, admit our capacity, and stop. There is a point when it's right to quit, the question is how do we find it? 

I'm writing about this now, because last weekend I was taking part in an event called Man vs Lakes. 50km in the Lake District, across some lakes, up hills, through remote woods, water activities and a lot of running! 

Halfway through we had ascended two major hills, my body felt fine, my breathing did not. The second hill I encountered I stopped about every 10 steps to catch my breath. I wasn't making good progress, I spoke to one of the marshalls at this halfway point and asked if the second half was like the first. Yes it was, in fact, it was even more hilly. So, what do I do? 

I have taken on this challenge. I know my body can take it, I've done that distance before, my legs felt fine, but my breathing was difficult. Could I continue knowing that what was to come would put more stress on my body? Breathing was already tricky, could I keep going, through the remote areas, alone, was it safe/sensible? Reality was if breathing got really bad there would not be easy access to help. Yet, the rest of me felt alright. My mind was focussed, my legs felt ready and I was fuelling well. In that situation, what would you of done? I had an internal debate, reaching a decision wasn't easy. My natural inclination was to keep going regardless, finish what I had started. Its what I always do. 

Then I  recalled what I heard one guy say on the last hill, "will I think any less of myself if I give up now?" 

For me, that's quite profound. 

If I admit this challenge is too great, does it make me less? Does it effect who I am? My honest answer at that moment was 'No'. I wouldn't think less of myself if I stopped now, so that's just what I did. I actually quit, for the first time that I can remember. I actually recognised my limitations and didn't continue with dogged determination to painfully cross the finish. 

That's the balance I think. To be aware of our limitations isn't a weakness. To realise when something is too much, or even to ask for help doesn't make us less. If we quit when we know we are in too deep it doesn't effect who we are. 

I know that I made a sensible judgement call, for my own wellbeing. I know that I didn't get a medal this weekend but that's ok. I am at peace with the decision to quit. It was the right call. I could of completed the event, but to what end? I would of put myself under great pressure and could of ended up not just tired, but damaging my health. I actually made a sensible decision rather than stubbornly seeing this event through to completion. 

If you are like me and usually keep going to your own detriment, I want to let you know; it's ok to slow down, it's ok to stop, and it's ok to quit sometimes. 

It doesn't effect who you are, in fact I don't feel embarrassed or ashamed of quitting. It was the right thing to do for me and others around me. Don't run yourself into the ground to prove a point or even to achieve something epic.

Know when to quit.