Dealing with the fallout

After these things, when the anger of King Ahasuerus had abated, he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what had been decreed against her. 
 Esther 2:1

The problem with responding in anger is that you often regret your decision afterwards. The king clearly regrets his, yet he knows there’s no going back. Even if the king had wanted to return to his relationship with Vashti, and was able to overcome the new laws and his own pride, would Vashti have accepted?

Highly-charged emotional reactions, whether made in excitement or anger, effect more than our own lives, they effect relationships and possibly the choices we have in the future. It’s not only that, but everyone touched by our decisions has to bear the consequences and you can never truly go back to how things were before. Once words are spoken they cannot be unsaid and actions taken cannot be undone. That’s what Ahasuerus was finding out. It takes but a moment to break a relationship and it can take years to restore one, maybe even a lifetime.

Even if you are forgiven and never discuss the event again, the pain and memory still exist and trust has been damaged, sadly there’s no rewind button in life where you can just redo the scene again.

In this situation with Ahasuerus and Vashti, things are too far gone to be repaired. She has been banished from his presence, so even if they wanted to, they cannot get back together and work things out. It is sad isn’t it. There are ways to avoid this happening for yourself, ways to avoid the loneliness and the fallout, is there a change you need to make today? Is there a relationship in your life that needs restoration? Is there someone you need to forgive? And if you’re not sure how to get started, pray.

Watch your reactions

On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha and Abagtha, Zethar and Carkas, the seven eunuchs who served in the presence of King Ahasuerus, *11*to bring Queen Vashti before the king with her royal crown, in order to show the peoples and the princes her beauty, for she was lovely to look at. *12*But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s command delivered by the eunuchs. At this the king became enraged, and his anger burned within him. 
*13*Then the king said to the wise men who knew the times (for this was the king’s procedure toward all who were versed in law and judgment, *14*the men next to him being Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media, who saw the king’s face, and sat first in the kingdom): *15*“According to the law, what is to be done to Queen Vashti, because she has not performed the command of King Ahasuerus delivered by the eunuchs?”
Esther 1:10–15.

The culmination of all of the festivities where king Ahasuerus has celebrated and shown off his land, possessions and wealth is that the king desires to show off his wife. It is like she is the crowning glory of his worth - she is a beauty and the king wants everyone to see and admire her. Yet, this man, who commands great power and authority over armies, princes and his country cannot summon his wife.
Can you imagine how that feels?
King Ahasuerus is refused by his own wife. He is clearly a rich, proud man, in control of his country, yet over his own wife he does not have the same power. Can you imagine the embarrassment? No wonder he was outraged, he was able to command the eunuchs to go and get her, yet he could not command her. This mighty king who has conquered nations does not seem to of conquered his wife’s heart, and he certainly has no power to control her mind or actions. He has an expectation of acquiescence, respect and duty from his subjects, and he expects the same from his wife.
Her refusal infuriates him, so what does he do? He does just what you or I would, and talks to those closest to him - his trusty advisers. He gathers those who know him, yet he comes with an agenda. When you are affronted, what is your response? It is natural, and good to talk it over with our friends, and there’s something about having a good moan which helps get it off our chest - we like to have a bit of a whinge and we expect our close ones to appease our emotions, just like king Ahasuerus does. His advisers do relieve his anger by coming up with a radical course of action that not only impacts this moment, this event, or just their marriage, but the whole nation. The problem is, the king was ‘enraged’, had been drinking and came to the issue with an agenda, ‘“According to the law, what is to be done to Queen Vashti’? He didn’t want restoration, he didn’t take responsibility for his own actions, he just wanted the other party to be punished ‘according to the law’. Which, to me implies, ‘what extreme punishment can I get away with without breaking the law?’.

This reaction may sound extreme, but we all have to be aware of our own highly charged emotional responses. Sometimes, as much as we love, respect, and trust our friends, they don’t always help our situations. If our trusted ones just agree with us and placate us, are they really being our friends or just sounding boards? Sometimes our viewpoint, feelings or reactions need to be challenged. The king here does not seem to have one man present who actually challenges his response, not one who attempts restoration for this marriage, no-one who advises waiting until he is sober and less emotionally-charged. No-one has even suggested that the husband and wife speak to each other, they just go along with the feelings of the king, swept along by anger and drink, to come to a conclusion that far outweighs the original offence. Do you ever find yourself int he same situation? Where your emotions are high and those around you exacerbate those feelings or expand the depth of what has occurred? Those around the king ended up turning an embarrassing denial into a national issue.
Who held the king to account? Who suggested that he may of been unreasonable? There is no voice that opposes the king’s view.
This is a warning to each of us - are your friends those that will always attempt to appease your emotions without challenging your perspective? Is there anyone that you sometimes get annoyed with because they don’t always think you’re right? If so, keep them close, they are a true friend trying to lead you well. We don’t like to be wrong, and we don’t like to be told we are at fault, but imagine if this king had someone who advised a different course of action. The marriage may well of been restored and the nation would of not had new laws. Instead of a flood of emotion being poured out, a ripple may of been felt but no more than that.

Next time you are overrun with your emotions choose who you talk to carefully, you may be in the right in your responses, but is there anyone around you who would challenge your point of view? Keep those who do close because they have the best intentions not just for yourself but those around you too. Don’t be like king Ahasuerus who surrounds himself by yes men, those who will do his bidding and agree with him unconditionally, who even justify and promote his emotional rulings.
This king made life-long, nation-wide decisions based on a moment of rage. His decision was not considered. He did not wait until his head had cool, in fact he was encouraged in his quick response by those closest to him.

When you are in an emotional state it is good to discuss with those you trust, but also wait until the extent of your emotions subside before making decisions. Be careful and choose your close advisers wisely. Your emotional response may be correct, but don’t be swayed by how you feel without considering and researching the facts. Base your decisions on the truth, not on an immediate feeling.

what's your wealth?

So, as we have now come t the end of the book of Ecclesiastes, it’s time to start a new one. This time, it’ll be Esther as suggested by a friend, so this week we will just go through the introductory bit which sets the scene;

Now in the days of Ahasuerus, the Ahasuerus who reigned from India to Ethiopia over 127 provinces, *2*in those days when King Ahasuerus sat on his royal throne in Susa, the citadel, *3*in the third year of his reign he gave a feast for all his officials and servants. The army of Persia and Media and the nobles and governors of the provinces were before him, *4*while he showed the riches of his royal glory and the splendor and pomp of his greatness for many days, 180 days. *5*And when these days were completed, the king gave for all the people present in Susa the citadel, both great and small, a feast lasting for seven days in the court of the garden of the king’s palace. *6*There were white cotton curtains and violet hangings fastened with cords of fine linen and purple to silver rods and marble pillars, and also couches of gold and silver on a mosaic pavement of porphyry, marble, mother-of-pearl, and precious stones. *7*Drinks were served in golden vessels, vessels of different kinds, and the royal wine was lavished according to the bounty of the king. *8*And drinking was according to this edict: “There is no compulsion.” For the king had given orders to all the staff of his palace to do as each man desired. *9*Queen Vashti also gave a feast for the women in the palace that belonged to King Ahasuerus. 
Esther 1:1–9.

So, what do you make of that?!
Basically, the king Ahasuerus, who reigned over 127 areas gave a huge party lasting 180days, that’s almost half a year! For half a year, this king showed off his wealth, possessions, land and household to those he entrusted with power and authority. Can you imagine partying for 6months? Having 6 months with your boss whilst others carry your workload. It sounds kind of ludicrous doesn’t it? just a bit over-the-top?

Then, we can consider the luxury of the place - even the floor is impressive, the stuff people walk over with their dusty feet sparkles with jewels. The whole scene is extravagant. There are coverings, abundance of provisions, expensive fabric, couches of gold and silver, even the cups were made of gold. I mean, I don’t know how much more this king could of done to demonstrate his wealth! It’s lavish, he is clearly a man of authority and power as well as great monetary worth.

So, to what purpose has he put his riches?
In this scene he’s clearly spent it on stuff, impressive possessions, he is showing off what he has, and he takes half a year to do so! He must think a lot of himself, not unreasonably really, due to his position of power.
Yet, to what purpose does he think he has all this? It seems that he is using what he has to; enjoy it, show his greatness and glory in his own worth. He has the idea that all of these things are his and his alone, he shows others what he has, but he doesn’t seem to give anything that he has, his possessions remain his, others may look at them, but he doesn’t seem to be sharing the richness of his kingdom.

I know, in life, many of us will fail to feel an ounce of wealth like this king has, yet we are all wealthy in our own ways. Maybe you are; wise, faithful, patient, studious, creative, genuine, or maybe you do have an overflow of cash. We all have areas of life that we have worth and wealth in, so how are you using them? Are you, like this king, appreciating the good things that you have, which you definitely should, but are you just keeping them to yourself? Do others benefit from the richness you have? it doesn’t have to be in big, flashy ways like this king has done, but if you have a gift of hospitality, do you open your home to others? Do you help others learn if you’re knowledgeable about something? Do you sit and listen with patience to those who need a friend? You don’t need to do all of these things, but you have this wealth for purpose, these God-given gifts are placed into your hands to be used beyond yourself, so how are you doing that?

what's good about getting older?

‘Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, “I have no pleasure in them”; *2*before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars are darkened and the clouds return after the rain, *3*in the day when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men are bent, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those who look through the windows are dimmed, *4*and the doors on the street are shut—when the sound of the grinding is low, and one rises up at the sound of a bird, and all the daughters of song are brought low— *5*they are afraid also of what is high, and terrors are in the way; the almond tree blossoms, the grasshopper drags itself along, and desire fails, because man is going to his eternal home, and the mourners go about the streets— *6*before the silver cord is snapped, or the golden bowl is broken, or the pitcher is shattered at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern, *7*and the dust returns to the earth as it was, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.’
 Ecclesiastes 12:1–7.

As I have read this section of scripture over and again, the metaphor of the body being a decrepit house intrigues and saddens me - the reality of the declining years, the gradual loss of senses and abilities, especially the ones most of s take for granted. It is a sad reality that this earthly vessel, this physical body which we rely so much upon is in decline. The older it gets, the more worn out it becomes, and as it does we are reminded of our frailty and mortality.

So, what is this house/body metaphor saying? Well, first off, it seems that there’s not a lot to look forward to as the days of life increase. In fact, these verses talk about the stormy seasons just never really coming to an end (‘the clouds return after the rain,’). As one storm passes, another begins. It seems that there is always some kind of sadness, loss, difficulty to be met with, and they occur one after another.
Then you have to deal with the fact that your limbs (‘keepers of the house’) do not work as they used to and; teeth fall out, vision and hearing become impaired, hair goes grey, you wake up early and your voice can become trembly. Doesn’t sound like a lot of fun does it? The simple everyday enjoyments become more difficult; eating, sleeping, walking, sleeping - they all have their hindrances. It seems like life drags along in this way with ever decreasing abilities and the perpetual reminder that life is ending, but without the knowledge of when it will all actually end. It’s like being in a waiting room, knowing you’re on the list, but you don’t know when exactly your turn will be.

Don’t you think this all sounds quite sad and a bit scary? It certainly doesn’t make you want to grow old does it - all this talk of the failings of the human body? I know we don’t like to dwell upon these things, we like to somehow think it won’t happen to us, or just ignore the fact that we are getting older and deny the fact that these things are going to happen. Luckily, this advancing in age is a gradual process. `It does not suddenly occur as in the space of the few lines we have just read. It is a gradual wearing out of the finite vessel we reside in on Earth. It is a slow degradation of the body. It happens bit by bit, not all in one go, yet, it’s still sad and scary and as I read this, I don’t want to think that all this could happen to me, I don’t want to lose teeth, or totter about. Yet, even if some or all of these telling signs of the wearing out of the body do occur to you and I, we have to remember that this is not in fact the culmination of life. The story doesn’t end with the dismal tale of deterioration. This is not the end.

As we can see from these verses, once, ‘the silver cord is snapped’, and life as we know it has ended, there is something else to come. There IS something to look forward to other than the slow deterioration of a worn out vessel. In fact, all of these incidences, all of these worn out body parts are a reminder that, ‘man is going to his eternal home’. This is why our bodies break down and don’t work as efficiently, to remind us that this is not where we are permanently fixed. We are all going to live beyond this life.
So, the advancement of age should not hold us in fear as we know that we have an eternal future that has been promised. Instead, as our body shows it’s advanced years, we should celebrate that our time in this earthly vessel is coming to an end, and the reality of getting a new, upgraded body that will not lose teeth, go grey or limp around is getting closer. As life on Earth ends, our life in eternity begins.

So, the next time you realise your body may not be working in the way you want it to, you get aches or pains, remember, you are actually a step closer to meeting your maker. Each little reminder that your body is decaying is a snippet of hope that one day you will be free from this vessel and enjoying the glory of God on a whole new level. The end here is the beginning of a new existence. You are preparing to be upgraded and advancing on the next level, free from the outdated body you’re in, with the promise of a new one and the promise that, in Jesus, you have a new hope waiting.