Haman recounted to them the splendour of his riches, the number of his sons, all the promotions with which the king had honoured him, and how he had advanced him above the officials and the servants of the king. 12 Then Haman said, “Even Queen Esther let no one but me come with the king to the feast she prepared. And tomorrow also I am invited by her together with the king. 13 Yet all this is worth nothing to me, so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate.”
Esther 5:11–13.
Oh Haman!
Haman has just had the unrivalled honour of dining with the king and queen of the known world, and he still gets grumpy!
Do you know anyone like that? Someone who has it all, but is still discontented?
Haman has mounds of riches, honour, prestige, a growing family, a job he loves, lots to boast about, yet he can still find something to moan about! Why is he dissatisfied? It seems everything is going his way - he has prestige, power and possessions, he has most things that people would dream of, yet he focuses on the one little thing that outweighs his contentment. Then that one little niggle is so magnified in his view that it destroys his enjoyment of what is pleasing. It tarnishes his perception of his perfect life.
The little niggle that blemishes Haman’s life is the lowly man that is Mordecai. Of all the aspects of life Haman could be consumed by; power, wealth, prestige, gaiety, responsibility, Haman instead focuses on the one thing that bothers him so he fails to fully enjoy or appreciate the great things of life, why? because of a man. Because of Mordecai. It doesn't really make sense does it? Why would a powerful and influential man be upstaged, angered and jealous of the seemingly poor, unimportant, Mordecai
What is it about Mordecai that bothers Haman so much? Mordecai, materially has so very little, he has little family, little power, renknown or responsibility so what is it about Mordecai that Haman hates so much?
Could it be that every time Haman comes across Mordecai, Haman realises that actually his life isn’t fulfilling, that in fact he recognises that there is something missing? Could it be that Mordecai in his seemingly uninfluenttial, insignificant position shows greater joy and contentment in his life than Haman with all his wealth, power and possessions can attain?
I think that might be it. That for Haman, Mordecai is a constant reminder that his life isn’t as perfect and fulfilling as it would appear. That all of his achievements, prowess and power, actually doesn’t increase happiness. Haman is unfulfilled, empty. Yet he sees Mordecai, who is content with the little he has and with who he is. So, whenever Haman encounters him, he sees something lacking within himself. Haman has to acknowledge the lack of contentment everytime he sees his face. Mordecai is a constant reminder of the unattainable joy and peace. Haman has moments of joy, but not the long-lasting, unshakeable type that Mordecai has.
The one thing Mordecai has is greater than the many things Haman owns, and Haman knows it.
No matter how much Haman tries, whatever promotion he gains, honour he receives, he cannot reach the internal satisfaction that Mordecai has. Haman works and works yet still it is not enough to satisfy. He is invited to feasts, triumphant in wars, yet despite the accolade, pomp and ceremony, he knows something is missing. Then, Haman happens upon righteous Mordecai, sitting contentedly at the gate and he is tormented. Seeing this man of little accord satisfied with what he has, with the work he does, even with his limited status breeds contempt. It is a lot easier to despise the one who reminds you of what you're missing rather than consider your own responsibility for inner contentment.
Mordecai is a constant reminder that Haman will never be or have enough. Mordecai has the one thing that matters and whenever he comes across him, Haman sees his inner self more clearly and he doesn’t like it. Mordecai mirrors what he’s missing - inner confidence and satisfaction.
This seems so unachievable for Haman that the feeling of resentment, anger and revenge grows the more he sees Mordecai. As he faces this contented man, he is forced to acknowledge to himself that all of the pomp and ceremony does not actually provide the internal satisfaction that he craves. The pile of possessions, the life and love of family, the responsibility of position matters nothing and never will if you don't first attain satisfaction within. Without that, life will always be lacking, as Haman found, and there will always be something that's a problem which outweighs the great things of life.
Haman, as we have read, is consumed with Mordecai being the problem. He projects his discontent onto him when, in fact, the problem lies within himself. It is far easier to blame our condition, situation and disappointments upon others. Others may well of had an influence in our circumstances, but we are actually responsible for the condition and response of our heart. No-one else can change that. Haman allowed himself to become consumed with anger and resentment because Mordecai represented all that he lacked. Whereas, if Haman had considered his own heart and what he was missing, using Mordecai as a role model, then there could of been contentment for him too.
Considering all this raises a few questions for our own lives;
Do you focus on the problems and annoyances rather than the achievements, success and positive things all around you?
Are you concerned with how much others have compared to you?
Are you one who displays peace and contentment in all circumstances?
Have you ever thought that others may be looking at you and seeing the peace and contentment you enjoy and they are jealous for it?
What does your life display? Do you live in lack or acknowledge your wealth?
Do not underestimate the great value you have and..
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.’
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