Yes and No

If you are a determined disciple of Jesus, then the letter of James is helpful as it is very clear about how you should be living and speaking. In the verse we are considering today James continues his guidance on how you should speak;

my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. 

James 5:12 (ESV)

When James writes, ‘do not swear, either by heaven or earth', he is not referring to what we, today, usually consider ‘swearing’ - saying offensive words - I think James would take for granted that we should not be saying those types of things. Instead James here is teaching us about the integrity of our speech. 

James is instructing you to simply mean what you say. No more, no less. Do not confound people with language or give mixed messages, just be honest when you communicate. Make an effort to clearly get your message across and consider what you are agreeing to and what you are not. Do not give emotive in the moment responses, but be realistic about you can and will do. In so doing people will recognise that you are being honest in your communication and will learn to trust you. 

If you boast, show off, exaggerate or underplay things people will realise and will not be able to put much weight onto what you say because they are not sure how true it is. The same is true if you make promises or agreements to do something, and then fail to do it. Maybe you forget, get too busy, have no intention of doing something even though it seemed a good idea at the time, or what you said seemed to be what the person wanted to hear. Regardless of the reason, when you agree to do something you let people down when you don't do it. Then they will be less likely to rely and depend upon you in the future because they will feel that they cannot trust your words. If you know you are someone who lets people down by not measuring up to your words, James is instructing you to consider what you are saying yes and no to. 

It is important for you to realise that how you communicate can form people’s ideas of your character. People can discover if you are a person of integrity or not by how you communicate and what you are saying yes and no to. I wonder how you come across. What are you communicating about who you are in how you speak? 

When you carefully consider your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ you demonstrate trustworthiness and integrity. Don’t flit about, changing your mind all the time, or let people down because you have good intentions but poor organisation. If you know that’s you today, then do something about it. Learn to carefully consider your responses and be realistic about your capacity, availability, and your understanding. Get a diary if you need to, set a reminder, remember the busy-ness of your everyday life. Then you will be able to encourage and support others simply by honestly responding ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to what you can and will do. As a result you will grow in trustworthiness and integrity. 

It is a simple concept, just saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’, it is simple. Imagine if you were able to be open and honest in your communication, no bragging, exaggeration, emotive agreements, considering what you can commit to. Wouldn't that make life a bit easier? You wouldn't have to clarify or check up on things, you won't need to apologise for forgetting again, or not doing something again. How would that be for you and for the others you are in relationship with? Many people struggle with saying 'no' to things, but isn't it better to do that at first rather than letting people down?

It is important to consider your words because others’ will judge your character based on their experience of communication with you. If you profess to be someone who loves Jesus and follows God, what are you showing them about Him in how you communicate?