heaviness of sin

 Psalm 38:1–22 (ESV): 

1  O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger, 

nor discipline me in your wrath! 

2  For your arrows have sunk into me, 

and your hand has come down on me. 

3  There is no soundness in my flesh 

because of your indignation; 

there is no health in my bones 

because of my sin. 

4  For my iniquities have gone over my head; 

like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me. 

5  My wounds stink and fester 

because of my foolishness, 

6  I am utterly bowed down and prostrate; 

all the day I go about mourning. 

7  For my sides are filled with burning, 

and there is no soundness in my flesh. 

8  I am feeble and crushed; 

I groan because of the tumult of my heart. 

9  O Lord, all my longing is before you; 

my sighing is not hidden from you. 

10  My heart throbs; my strength fails me, 

and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me. 

11  My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, 

and my nearest kin stand far off. 

12  Those who seek my life lay their snares; 

those who seek my hurt speak of ruin 

and meditate treachery all day long. 

13  But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear, 

like a mute man who does not open his mouth. 

14  I have become like a man who does not hear, 

and in whose mouth are no rebukes. 

15  But for you, O Lord, do I wait; 

it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer. 

16  For I said, “Only let them not rejoice over me, 

who boast against me when my foot slips!” 

17  For I am ready to fall, 

and my pain is ever before me. 

18  I confess my iniquity; 

I am sorry for my sin. 

19  But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty, 

and many are those who hate me wrongfully. 

20  Those who render me evil for good 

accuse me because I follow after good. 

21  Do not forsake me, O Lord! 

O my God, be not far from me! 

22  Make haste to help me, 

O Lord, my salvation! 

When you have sinned, do you acknowledge and lament your wrongdoing? Are you able to admit that when you suffer, it is sometimes because you have been foolish and messed up?

When you know that your current condition is a fair recompense for sin, do you also know you can still ask God for relief? God is not aggressive or revengeful. He loves you and wants you to acknowledge the error of your ways so that you can live a more righteous life. His desire is that you know His love, mercy and grace. In order to be able to know these things in greater measure, sometimes you have to feel the reality of what your sin can bring. Through suffering the consequences you can further appreciate and accept the great gift that salvation is. David recognises this as he suffers. He acknowledges that his present emotional and physical pain is because he has erred and he grieves his decision to go against God. David accepts that he should suffer, but he also knows that he can still go to God even though he has caused the mess he is in! David accepts he deserves this, ‘tumult’ yet he still converses with God about it and shares with Him how he is doing; his regret, pain and weakness. He feels the internal turmoil caused by wrongdoing and asks God for help. You can too.

Even when you fail, you get caught up in sin and disregard God’s instructions, you can still call out to God as David did; ‘make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation’. God does not become disinterested in you when you mess up. Instead He actually wants you to own up to it and talk to Him about it! God still cares for you and wants relationship with you. He is your father, and like a good parent he doesn't disown you or kick you out each time you go wrong. Once you repent and choose to deal with the sin that has separated you, you can enjoy relationship with God again. This time you will probably be more grateful of His salvation and more appreciative of His mercy and grace. That’s the beauty of living acknowledging the power of what Jesus achieved.

David confirms that, ‘my iniquities have gone over my head….they are too heavy for me’. Ever felt like that? That the level of sin is too great, or your wrongdoing unforgivable or so repeatable that you despair of yourself? If so, you are correct in thinking that your wrongs are too heavy. You cannot and should not be carrying the weight of sin around with you. Jesus already has taken the burden of it all. Have you given it all to him? Jesus took upon himself every sin and it died as he died. Therefore these things you do wrong and that seem to entangle you are not even yours. They were last taken on by Jesus as he bled and died on that cross. He did that so you could live free. What you need to remember is that sin no longer belongs to you and you do not belong to it either. The bond between you is broken as sin has been put to death, and death ends any relationship. Jesus died for all that you have ever done and will ever do that God does not approve of. You do not need further punishment. You will, and should feel the pain of repentance, the discomfort of admission of sin, and the difficulty of walking out of it, but you do not need to wear the sin or the fullness of the consequences of it any more. Jesus put an end to that. So if you are feeling stuck in sin today, or are overwhelmed by your wrongdoings or persistent transgressions, remember that Jesus died to save you and the Holy Spirit can come to help you. Cry out to God as David did, ’make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation’. 

When you are a follower of God, yet you sin, your salvation is unaffected. David knew this, that is why he ends this psalm with that last sentence. Your relationship and acceptance by God is not torn apart because you did something wrong. You do need to confess it and possibly make recompense, but you can know the joy of forgiveness. I know I did things wrong as a kid, and my parents never banished me or denied me. I would have to tidy up my mess, repair or pay for what was broken, apologise, and my parents would forgive me. The sorting out the damage and admitting what I had done was more important for my benefit than theirs. To show me that doing things wrong has consequences. The relationship was never in jeopardy. The same is true when you realise you have sinned against God. God is a better parent than mine can ever be, so why do you expect a different response from Him? He will hear your admission, forgive your sin and help you restore yourself and the situation. Nothing is too big or terrible that He will deny you or reject you. God is the best parent you could ever have. He is not like your own parents, even if they were great like mine. God is approachable, available, ready and waiting to accept, love and forgive you - are you letting Him?