Can you relate to feeling as David did in this psalm?
Psalm 69:1–36 (ESV):
Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.
3 I am weary with my crying out;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.
4 More in number than the hairs of my head
are those who hate me without cause;
mighty are those who would destroy me,
those who attack me with lies.
What I did not steal
must I now restore?
5 O God, you know my folly;
the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.
6 Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me,
O Lord God of hosts;
let not those who seek you be brought to dishonour through me,
O God of Israel.
7 For it is for your sake that I have borne reproach,
that dishonour has covered my face.
8 I have become a stranger to my brothers,
an alien to my mother’s sons.
9 For zeal for your house has consumed me,
and the reproaches of those who reproach you have fallen on me.
10 When I wept and humbled my soul with fasting,
it became my reproach.
11 When I made sackcloth my clothing,
I became a byword to them.
12 I am the talk of those who sit in the gate,
and the drunkards make songs about me.
13 But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.
14 Deliver me
from sinking in the mire;
let me be delivered from my enemies
and from the deep waters.
15 Let not the flood sweep over me,
or the deep swallow me up,
or the pit close its mouth over me.
16 Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good;
according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
17 Hide not your face from your servant,
for I am in distress; make haste to answer me.
18 Draw near to my soul, redeem me;
ransom me because of my enemies!
19 You know my reproach,
and my shame and my dishonour;
my foes are all known to you.
20 Reproaches have broken my heart,
so that I am in despair.
I looked for pity, but there was none,
and for comforters, but I found none.
21 They gave me poison for food,
and for my thirst they gave me sour wine to drink.
22 Let their own table before them become a snare;
and when they are at peace, let it become a trap.
23 Let their eyes be darkened, so that they cannot see,
and make their loins tremble continually.
24 Pour out your indignation upon them,
and let your burning anger overtake them.
25 May their camp be a desolation;
let no one dwell in their tents.
26 For they persecute him whom you have struck down,
and they recount the pain of those you have wounded.
27 Add to them punishment upon punishment;
may they have no acquittal from you.
28 Let them be blotted out of the book of the living;
let them not be enrolled among the righteous.
29 But I am afflicted and in pain;
let your salvation, O God, set me on high!
30 I will praise the name of God with a song;
I will magnify him with thanksgiving.
31 This will please the Lord more than an ox
or a bull with horns and hoofs.
32 When the humble see it they will be glad;
you who seek God, let your hearts revive.
33 For the Lord hears the needy
and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.
34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and everything that moves in them.
35 For God will save Zion
and build up the cities of Judah,
and people shall dwell there and possess it;
36 the offspring of his servants shall inherit it,
and those who love his name shall dwell in it.
David feels like he is sinking, that God isn’t doing anything. He is worn out with emotional distress and hoarse with crying out to God about it. Yet none of this is because he has done anything wrong. He admits that he has messed up before (v19), yet this situation with his friends and family rejecting him is nothing to do with any error or sin on his side, but because of his wholehearted commitment to God (v9). Can you imagine that?
Many people in the world can, we hear accounts about those who are persecuted for their faith. There are traumatic stories of imprisonment, restriction and death threats. People in other nations undergo these things because of their love for God and for living life God’s way. Even in our country I have heard of stories of christians making a right stand against an issue resulting in being rejected, disciplined, businesses in trouble, taken to court. All for doing things God’s way. I bet they felt something of what David felt. Feeling like they are in too deep, drowning, rejected, attacked. I have not experienced this level of persecution, yet I found it hard enough when I felt an outcast at work due to the faith I have. It was horrible, yet that was mild compared to level of persecution that David, and others have been through. The reality is, as people of God, we should expect some kind of push back, rejection and trouble. There is an enemy in the world that does not want to see God’s kingdom come, or His people succeed, and so Satan will do everything he can to cause suffering and difficulty. Are you prepared to suffer for your faith, and will you endure it?
David, even though he was taunted and rejected by many even his own family, was prepared to go through it because of his love for God. He was sold out for God and he suffered ridicule and rejection because of it, he acknowledged that these things, ‘have broken my heart, so that I am in despair’. David felt broken by the words and actions of others. David grieved for the lost relationships and felt like he was being engulfed in misery, drowning in a sea of grief because of the extent of his heartache. He was rejected and abandoned as those he loved and relied upon turned away from him, rejected and ridiculed him. He suffered. There was a great emotional response because he cared for these people, yet he knew his words and behaviour would not change because he loved God more. No wonder David felt so distraught, he knew the cause of the tension between himself and others was his love for God, and he couldn't change that, so he had to endure heartache and the hardship. When the faith you have effects the relationships you have developed, this will really test your commitment to God. You will have to choose between God and those you care about and it will lead to despair, heartbreak and loneliness, what will you do when you encounter such difficulties?
David cried out to God, and didn't stop crying out to Him! We can hear how David suffered, and we can look at our Saviour Jesus to see how he too suffered rejection, heartbreak, loneliness and pain because of loving and obeying God. Yet both David and Jesus continued to pursue God. They did not turn back, they asked for relief, for change, for help, but they chose to continue to suffer because they knew God is greater. They understood that His love, protection, guidance, comfort and strength are worth suffering for. They also knew that these things are available even in the midst of the turmoil. They spoke to God and trusted Him to help them through. After all, if everyone else has rejected you, who is left to help, encourage and strengthen you?
David pours out his heart to God, ‘my prayer is to you, O Lord’. He depended on no-one else for salvation, rescue or relief. David knew who could save him from, ‘sinking in the mire’. So he held onto this hope, this faith that God’s ‘steadfast love is good’. That was enough for him to endure and have hope for a new day. Is that enough for you?
Only God can sustain and protect you from drowning in despair and save you from the trial of rejection and hopelessness. His love is good and steadfast, and He supports and saves those He loves, so keep going and copy David. Allow yourself to feel the pain of radical obedience, ask God for help, and continue to worship. His love will carry you through every circumstance no matter how bitter or joyful. Rely on Him to, ‘draw near to my soul, redeem me’ and continue, no matter what to, ‘praise the name of God’. ‘For the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.’ Trust in God, for man may reject you, but God will not and He will revive your heart (v32).
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