Yes and No

If you are a determined disciple of Jesus, then the letter of James is helpful as it is very clear about how you should be living and speaking. In the verse we are considering today James continues his guidance on how you should speak;

my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. 

James 5:12 (ESV)

When James writes, ‘do not swear, either by heaven or earth', he is not referring to what we, today, usually consider ‘swearing’ - saying offensive words - I think James would take for granted that we should not be saying those types of things. Instead James here is teaching us about the integrity of our speech. 

James is instructing you to simply mean what you say. No more, no less. Do not confound people with language or give mixed messages, just be honest when you communicate. Make an effort to clearly get your message across and consider what you are agreeing to and what you are not. Do not give emotive in the moment responses, but be realistic about you can and will do. In so doing people will recognise that you are being honest in your communication and will learn to trust you. 

If you boast, show off, exaggerate or underplay things people will realise and will not be able to put much weight onto what you say because they are not sure how true it is. The same is true if you make promises or agreements to do something, and then fail to do it. Maybe you forget, get too busy, have no intention of doing something even though it seemed a good idea at the time, or what you said seemed to be what the person wanted to hear. Regardless of the reason, when you agree to do something you let people down when you don't do it. Then they will be less likely to rely and depend upon you in the future because they will feel that they cannot trust your words. If you know you are someone who lets people down by not measuring up to your words, James is instructing you to consider what you are saying yes and no to. 

It is important for you to realise that how you communicate can form people’s ideas of your character. People can discover if you are a person of integrity or not by how you communicate and what you are saying yes and no to. I wonder how you come across. What are you communicating about who you are in how you speak? 

When you carefully consider your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ you demonstrate trustworthiness and integrity. Don’t flit about, changing your mind all the time, or let people down because you have good intentions but poor organisation. If you know that’s you today, then do something about it. Learn to carefully consider your responses and be realistic about your capacity, availability, and your understanding. Get a diary if you need to, set a reminder, remember the busy-ness of your everyday life. Then you will be able to encourage and support others simply by honestly responding ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to what you can and will do. As a result you will grow in trustworthiness and integrity. 

It is a simple concept, just saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’, it is simple. Imagine if you were able to be open and honest in your communication, no bragging, exaggeration, emotive agreements, considering what you can commit to. Wouldn't that make life a bit easier? You wouldn't have to clarify or check up on things, you won't need to apologise for forgetting again, or not doing something again. How would that be for you and for the others you are in relationship with? Many people struggle with saying 'no' to things, but isn't it better to do that at first rather than letting people down?

It is important to consider your words because others’ will judge your character based on their experience of communication with you. If you profess to be someone who loves Jesus and follows God, what are you showing them about Him in how you communicate? 

Don't be too much

16*Be not overly righteous, and do not make yourself too wise. Why should you destroy yourself? *17*Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time? *18*
Ecclesiastes 7:16–18.

‘Be not overly righteous’ - is that possible? Can we be TOO righteous? Can we be too justified?
‘Too wise’ how can anyone be too wise? does anyone know too much? Is anyone too clever?
How about ‘overly wicked’? We all probably agree that being wicked on any scale is not good, so why do we have here that we can be TOO wicked?
These verses can seem a bit odd, they seem to be saying that to be extreme in any quality, good or bad, is a bit over-the-top, and can 'destroy us', even the qualities think we should have.
I think Solomon is trying to warn us either not to become too focussed on these qualities or not to over-exaggerate them.

If we become too focussed on any one part of our life we lose focus on who we are, who God is and what we are built for, even if our focus seems to be something worthy and desirable like righteousness or wisdom. We can become absorbed in the pursuit and so become negligent of other areas of our lives. To be constantly striving after anything can be detrimental to our health and cause distance between us and others. It doesn’t do our mind, body or spirit any good to be striving after our passions whatever they may be, even if the intention is good.
I wonder if Solomon is showing through these verses that the passionate drive for wisdom and righteousness is just as destructive as the passionate drive for wickedness and foolishness. Maybe Solomon is trying to show us that the drive for even good things can, ‘destroy yourself’.
There is nothing wrong in wisdom or seeking righteousness, but are these things a constant pressure and worry on your mind? Do you feel good enough just as you are? You do not need to work hard to be made right with God nor to be acceptable to those around you. You are in enough in who you are. You don’t need to strive to be different or to be more than you are.

The other aspect of these verses concerns exaggeration. about not pretending to be more than you are. Just as we concluded the previous paragraph - you are enough in who you are, who you naturally are. Don’t exaggerate your personality or your experiences, don’t overdo who you portray yourself to be.
Why not? Because one day you will be found out. One day your wisdom will fail you, or you’ll err and you’ll be found to be not-so-righteous. Solomon also invites us not to be, 'overly wicked', we still sometimes do bad things, we can act in wicked ways, even as christians. Solomon has seen that this can end with 'destroying yourself'. We know the areas we each struggle in, and it is ok to make mistakes, but are you constantly getting yourself into the same trouble? If so then you need to exercise self-control and ask God for help to overcome the issue. Also, we dot need to play on our weaknesses. we don't have to pretend that we are worse than we are. we may think this helps others relate to us, but, if we confess to be christians, then we should be able to handle 'wickedness' differently. Then we come down to foolishness, the last of the qualities mentioned. How can we be foolish? Foolishness, being silly, not considering the effects of our actions, these things can be fools as well as just being a joker and playing about. Foolishness is not about having fun, of course life should be fun, but if your fun is at the expense of others then it is foolish.

Solomon tells us not to be 'overly' any of these things. Don’t play up or down your wickedness, foolishness, wisdom or righteousness. you don't need to show off who you are or even who God is. If you do, one day it will backfire. People see through the hype, the exaggeration and realise the truth. Don't be fake, be a person of integrity.
You don’t need to play up to the person people expect you to be or whom you think you should be. You don’t need to pretend or strive to be; more wise, foolish, righteous or wicked than you already are. Just live your life as it is. This will demonstrate the fruit of what God has done more than any hype or exaggeration can, you do not need to put on an act, it's hardwork.
If you are natural and accepting of your own levels of righteousness, wisdom, foolishness and wickedness then you have integrity and people will respect you for who you are and they will probably see you as a regular human being, just like themselves - what better way to demonstrate God's great love for them? If God loves and accepts you just as you are, then surely there's hope that He will love and accept them too?!