The pursuit of righteousness

2 Samuel 22:21–25 (ESV): 

'The Lord dealt with me according to my righteousness; 

according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me. 

 22  For I have kept the ways of the Lord 

and have not wickedly departed from my God. 

 23  For all his rules were before me, 

and from his statutes I did not turn aside. 

 24  I was blameless before him, 

and I kept myself from guilt. 

 25  And the Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, 

according to my cleanness in his sight.'

Can you say the same?

Can you honestly say that God repays you according to your righteousness?

I know that God doesn't repay me according to my unrighteousness, and I'm very grateful for that! But does God pay me according to my righteousness? That's puzzled me, because when I take a good, hard look at myself, even though I may appear a good, kind, considerate person, I see the imperfect thoughts and feelings that gunk up my life, the imperfect, unrighteousness that dwells within me. Even if immoral words are never spoken, adverse thoughts never voiced, the Bible teaches that even just thinking them is unrighteous. I am sometimes surprised at the unwanted, adverse thoughts that pop into my head. So, the question I am asking myself is - how righteous am I.....REALLY???? 

We all have a person that we exhibit to the world - to our friends, family, colleagues and others around us, and they're probably what we would consider an alright person, one that's quite acceptable, but the real person inside - what are they like? - how righteous are they? 

David, in this song, says that God dealt with him according to his righteousness - David says he's; kept the rules, he's not looked back, he's done what God has told him, and, 'kept myself from guilt'. 

Now, sometimes we can follow the rules - outwardly that's usually pretty easy. The thing I most admire in this paragraph about David though, is that he admits he had kept himself from guilt. That shows something of the internal battle to do what's right -  the internal struggle for righteousness. He had to KEEP himself from doing what he knew to be wrong. Don't we all struggle with that? 

David knows righteousness doesn't all rest on the outward appearance of doing what is right. It's actually about overcoming the internal desires that would lead to a guilty conscience. To succeed, we have to persevere. Just like David did if we are to preserve ourselves from guilt. It is about mastering our internal emotions, our own self-concern, and maybe even our innermost desires. It's not an easy fight - it's a fight against ourselves. But isn't the result worth it? A conscience free from guilt - the pursuit of righteousness. 

I would love to be able to say, like David, that God rewards me for my righteousness, but I know, hand on heart, God rewards me even in my unrighteousness. 

I, like you, am fighting internal battles. I have desires that I battle to overcome so that I can be free from guilt. I pursue this righteousness that David talks about, and I think that this is what David is saying God rewards - Our earnest pursuit of righteousness, our keeping ourselves from guilt.