God is right and just

 37 Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honour the King of heaven, for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble. 

Daniel 4:37.

‘His works are right’ - we may not understand the workings of God’s plans, they way situations unfold or resolve, but that doesn’t mean that God has got it wrong. What it does mean is that we have not seen things the way God does. 

It is good for us to remember that we do not see the whole creation view that God does, that we do not have His mind, or the ability to appreciate the time frame He is working with. We only see, and are only really concerned with, the little part we have to play. We do not like it when things do not go how we expect or how want them to go, what we think is the best outcome. It is then that we can question God, question whether He is good, or if He even exists. That is because we lose sight of who He is and who we are. We become overwhelmed with circumstances and begin to mistakenly believe that we, in fact, know best, and are in control. We forget that He is the Most High, He is the King of heaven, He is right. 

It does us good to remind ourselves that we are not whom the world revolves around. We are not the most important, nor the know-it-alls that we think we are. We are created creatures of grace. God is looking, He is in control and ‘His works are right’ even when it seems to us the worst. 

‘His ways are just’ - This means that God is fair to all, and is morally right. Whatever God is doing, it is just. It may not seem so to us at the time, but it will come to pass that justice will be done. Not according to our standards, but according to His.  

There are many historical events that may seem unjust, and horrific, yet this statement tells us that God’s ways are just - so who has had influence at those times? Sometimes we can attribute some of the tragic circumstances to God, forgetting that there is an enemy that is working and moving around us just as God is. Yet, even at those times, you can see and hear stories of hope, of goodness, of the miraculous, of righteousness and justice. One thing to remember is that our time frame and expectations for justice are wildly different to God’s. We see and know in part (1 Corinthians 13), so we cannot rightly judge as we do not see the innermost being, nor the eternal consequences of each action or decision. God can. One day every person will give an account of himself before God - do you trust God to be just then? If you believe in Him and accept Jesus as your saviour, then justice has already been served over your own life. God is so concerned with being just that all our wrongs deserve death as they separate us from our holy God. So Jesus died, cruelly, in agony. It may not seems just to you, right or fait, but don’t you rely on it for your salvation?

‘Those who walk in pride he is able to humble’ - I think that there is a fine line between confidence and pride. Particularly in the society where we are trained from our young years that we can do anything. This builds confidence, but can also build pride, so it is important that we can distinguish between them, as clearly, pride is something to avoid if you do not want to be humiliated. 

Confidence is an assurance we have in our capability. Pride is also a confidence in yourself, and having a deep satisfaction in who you are that leads to feeling dignified, arrogant and superior. That is why it is dangerous. Pride results in thoughts of being better than others. Confidence accepts abilities, doesn’t brag about them and is not afraid to give credit where it is due. The confident will admit that things took time, are gifts from God, are taught well by others, that they have limits. Pride displays that everything they can do is because of them, because of how great they are and all that they have done. 

Be warned -  ‘those who walk in pride he is able to humble’. 

That is the worst punishment for someone who is proud, consider Nebuchadnezzar. He once was full of pride, boastful of ‘great Babylon, which I have built by my mighty power’. A confident, but pride-filled man until everything was stripped from him; power, majesty, his role, his sanity. Nebuchadnezzar had the attitude that he had all he did because of his character and works; his kingdom, his riches, his authority. Then he was humbled. Once he acknowledged that he can just as easily have; riches or poverty, weakness or strength, reason or insanity and that none of it was according to his will, effort or influence, but all according to the will of God, his reason returned and he honoured God. 

Are you in a position where, like Nebuchadnezzar, you are waiting to be humbled? If so, ask God and trust Him to help you out now.

Nebuchadnezzar learnt about God's righteousness, justice and power through different experiences, but predominantly through the last recorded event. It was a journey that took many years, but he eventually had this revelation that there is a Most Hight God with these qualities. Which of these do you need to hold onto today?

What's on the throne of your heart?

 46*Then King Nebuchadnezzar fell upon his face and paid homage to Daniel, and commanded that an offering and incense be offered up to him. 47*The king answered and said to Daniel, “Truly, your God is God of gods and Lord of kings, and a revealer of mysteries, for you have been able to reveal this mystery.” 48*Then the king gave Daniel high honours and many great gifts, and made him ruler over the whole province of Babylon and chief prefect over all the wise men of Babylon. 49*Daniel made a request of the king, and he appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego over the affairs of the province of Babylon. But Daniel remained at the king’s court. 

* 3*King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, whose height was sixty cubits and its breadth six cubits.

Daniel 2:46–3:1.

From a position of pride and power, the king, ‘fell upon his face’, in humility and reverence. The king, who was passionate, powerful and ruthless, recognises in an instant that he is not the orchestrator of all things. That he, in fact, is not in control - There is some kind of god, whom Daniel knows, that sees and understands the things inside a man, and this god, and this Daniel, should be recognised and revered. Nebuchadnezzar's first response is to worship. Now, King Nebuchadnezzar is used to worshipping a multitude of gods, so he does what he would do for any number of them - offers incense, falls in his face, gives gifts. It is his natural response. He recognises something significant about this God, acknowledges it and responds in the only ways he knows how.  The overflow of his gratitude and awe is to lavish this god with whatever he has. What a response! Nebuchadnezzar, a king, a non-Israelite, a man not even seeking God, responds in joy and wonder and in his exuberance gives generously!

How do you respond to God? 

When you see God moving in your life, how do you demonstrate reverence, joy, gratitude, awe?

Does your worship and reverence of God lead you to give what you have to Him and honour His people? 

Nebuchadnezzar, as we can easily realise, doesn’t get everything right, (he has no experience of this Israelite got after all) but by being in a culture of many gods, he has learnt how to worship and honour them and he is not ashamed to do it. Even as a mighty king, he humbles himself as he realises there is in fact one god whom he hasn’t yet worshipped that sees right inside of him, and he responds with respect. We can learn from this gentile king a thing or two about not being ashamed of being overwhelmed and honouring God and His people as we see Him moving and showing His character in our lives.

Although Nebuchadnezzar does have this moment of overwhelmed wonder and humility as he acknowledges, ‘your God is God of gods and Lord of kings’, we cannot see this as a conversion moment or a realisation that the God of Israel is the ONLY god. We see that from the very next set of verses where he sets up a golden idol for all people to worship. It is evident therefore that the king just adds the god of Daniel to the list of those he already worships. I find it sad that within a few lines we read this amazing experience with the God of Israel, then we see a new ‘god’ being set up by the very same man.

I know that it didn’t all happen in real life as quickly as we read it, but the contrast does show the fickle nature of mankind. The desire of the human race is to seek something in life, something more than we already have and something more than we already know. There’s a phrase that I have heard several times that ‘the heart is an idol factory’. It is like there’s a throne in our hearts for something to sit on - We were created to worship, and if that throne isn’t for the One true God, then something else must be there; we worship, admire and seek other things. Ancient kings and civiilizations were no different.

King Nebuchadnezzar had seen and experienced something, but it hadn’t taken root in his heart - he didn’t realise that his god revealed to him was the only one, and that all his future, hopes, identity, and purpose could be revealed through him, so he kept searching. He made for himself other things which he could adore and admire just like this golden statue that he commissioned to be built.

It would be easy to skip over this bit, as few of us have an image that we revere, so it can seem irrelevant, but, take a moment to ponder on the idea that the heart is an idol factory, and seeks something to love and worship, then ask yourself these questions; 

 If your heart has a throne in it, then what is sitting on it right now?

What or who do you rely on when things go well/not so well? 

What takes up most of your time/thoughts/affection?

Do you get surrounded and engulfed by things in your culture?

Are you relying on other things to fill the void or compensate for your emotions or situations? 

There are things that get in the way of all of us seeing God for who He is. Like Nebuchadnezzar, we can get excited one minute, and the next totally forget the importance of the One True God. Stuff and people can get in the way, we can get overwhelmed or unwell. Sometimes we get so excited about other things that we simply forget. Other things fill the space in our heart. If this sounds like you, then you're not alone. Living a life with God at the centre though needs to be intentional. Putting God on the throne of your life takes a conscious effort each and every day, because we forget. We get side-tracked, we become unmotivated and disorientated or even too busy with life at times. We are in danger of seeming as fickle as Nebuchadnezzar seems to be in this passage. 

If you know that you have given your focus and your throne over to something else, then take time to pray. Repent, accept forgiveness through Jesus and ask God to come again and take His rightful place in your life. Maybe some things need to be laid down so that you can give focus to God and give Him the rightful worship. Why not make a change today?

There’s only one throne in your heart - who is sitting on it?

The king, the chief guard and the exile

 

Then Arioch brought in Daniel before the king in haste and said thus to him: “I have found among the exiles from Judah a man who will make known to the king the interpretation.” *26*The king declared to Daniel, whose name was Belteshazzar, “Are you able to make known to me the dream that I have seen and its interpretation?” *27*Daniel answered the king and said, “No wise men, enchanters, magicians, or astrologers can show to the king the mystery that the king has asked, *28*but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries, and he has made known to King Nebuchadnezzar what will be in the latter days. Your dream and the visions of your head as you lay in bed are these: *29*To you, O king, as you lay in bed came thoughts of what would be after this, and he who reveals mysteries made known to you what is to be. *30*But as for me, this mystery has been revealed to me, not because of any wisdom that I have more than all the living, but in order that the interpretation may be made known to the king, and that you may know the thoughts of your mind. 

Daniel 2:25–30.

In the book of Daniel, we have already met these three characters, but not all in the same place at the same time. It is interesting to see how they interact, as it reveals the content of their characters when we see them together. So, today we are going to see what we notice about each of them;

First up we have the Captain of the king’s guard, Arioch. He is mentioned a few verses previously as he rushes to carry out the kings command to kill all the wise men, and now he is rushing to bring in Daniel. It seems this man knows the importance of his position, and he is anxious to fulfil it. The role Arioch has, has become who he is rather than just a job. He rushes around in self-importance as if it all depends on him, the kings problems are his problems, and he feels responsible for sorting it all out. Probably for good reason, as he recognises the reality that if he doesn’t do what the king wants, he will join the fate of the ‘wise men’ he’s had to do away with already. 

Arioch clearly finds his value in how well he completes his job. It has become who he is rather than a part of his identity. Now, don’t get me wrong, being in charge of the kings bodyguard is an important role, but have you ever met someone who seems to take their job a bit too seriously? As in their job becomes their life, rather than just a part of it? Someone who defines themselves by their success or failure? This is how Arioch is portrayed. He is dedicated to his role and to the king, and he rushes about trying to do his best for his boss, without really thinking through if it is the best idea or if the decisions are morally right.

It takes someone like Daniel to slow him down and consider what is actually in the best interests of those involved, including the king.

We also see the self-importance and pride that Arioch has, for in the introduction he gives he says, “I have found from among the exiles  from Judah a man who will make known to the king the interpretation”. I don’t remember reading that Arioch was on the look out to solve the mystery of the kings dream, do you? The last I recall was that Arioch was following the murderous plan to slaughter all the wise men who may have been able to help! It was only when Daniel challenged Arioch in the urgency that Arioch slowed down a bit. In fact, Daniel approached him, and asked for time., offering a solution.  Arioch didn’t go out searching for an answer to the king’s problem, instead he went out searching for those to kill. However, now, he is quite happy to take the credit for ‘finding’ Daniel and being a part of the solution! In order to look good in the kings eyes he’s quite happy to take the credit. I am sure we can all probably think of those who take credit where it is not due. Maybe that’s you, and you need a Daniel to pick you up on it.

The next person who speaks is the King, Nebuchadnezzar. Before this interaction we have already deducted how he is feeling; the king is sleep-deprived, angry, feels distrust towards the other ‘wise men’ and is concerned about being deceived. I doubt his condition has improved since he spoke with the enchanters, astrologers and astronomers. Yet, he gives Daniel a chance. Eventhough he has ordered the murder of all the people society considers wise (and Daniel is among them), he still allows Daniel to have a go. Perhaps because he is so desperate for a solution that he has just the smallest amount of hope that this troublesome dream can be solved. So he asks, “Are you able to make known to me the dream that I have seen and its interpretation?”. 

I would like to know the tone in which this is asked, wouldn’t you?  Is the king asking if Daniel can do this thing because he is astonished that this young man before him claims to have more understanding than the well seasoned ‘wise men’ he has already called upon? Is he asking through disappointment and annoyance? Or even in an exhausted, exasperated manner? We do not know how Nebuchadnezzar asked this question, and we are not meant to know, because actually it does not matter. Daniel does not rise to the manner in which the question is posed, but simply answers it. 

Next, we shall consider the final character in this scene, the young man, the ‘exile’, Daniel (Belteshazzar) . He comes into the king’s presence, without any ceremony. In fact, he comes in great humility. He is the only one out of the three that demonstrates humility - and he’s the one with the answers!

From the start of this interaction, Daniel acknowledges, that he is, like the others the king has called upon, merely human and that no human being can help with the king’s ‘mystery’.  (I am sure that didn’t improve the kings mood!) However he also acknowledges that there is a God in heaven capable of revealing mysteries, and Daniel has accepted his part in being a messenger from God to the king in order for Nebuchadnezzar to better understand himself. 

Daniel is aware and unashamed of his usefulness as a messenger and is content to be the go-between. He makes it clear that he is merely a messenger from God to the king, that he has no understanding of these things themselves, but that God has used him so that the king can have better understanding. He takes no credit. He gives all responsibility and honour to God - How different to how Arioch enters the room! 

Really, after Daniel’s admission, it is kind of surprising that the king carries on listening! Yet, Daniel continues, in confidence, and assures the king that God has imparted to him, ‘the thoughts of your mind’. Daniel recognises that this has been revealed to himself and his friends, not because they are more intelligent or respected or powerful than anyone else, but because the have sought God for the solution. They asked for the impossible, and got it, and it was not for them to keep to themselves, but the revelation that was received was to hep soothe a troubled mind and reveal something of what was to come.  

So, what can we learn from these three people? Has anything stood out to you in the way they bear themselves? Have you been inspired by how Daniel responds under pressure, amongst those deemed ‘greater’ than himself?

Can you detect any of the characteristics of these three men in your own life? If so, pray. Whether it is in gratitude or repentance. 

For me - I see that God needs those who are willing to step up and step out. No matter who they, or anyone else, considers them to be. We all have a purpose and we are all created with a piece of God inside of us, so we should not be ashamed of that. We also should not be ashamed of admitting that this is how God has made us - of giving the glory and credit to God like Daniel does. I shall endeavour to be more intentional in that.

Fasting

This week I have been pondering about fasting - The ancient, Biblical practice of abstaining from food.
It seems that our view of fasting has altered over the years from what I read in the Bible. It seems to of been quite a common practice in history, people using fasting as a way to connect with God and demonstrate humility. I do not see much of that now, do you?

 I know some people do fast from food, but it think more often I have seen fasting from social media, or technology, or even heard of fasting as part of an eating program to lose weight, but these are not the kinds of fasts I read about in the Bible. Fasting was never about removing distractions or maintaining weight. From what I have read, fasting, abstaining from food (and maybe drink), for a period of time is about humility and communion with God.

The purpose of Biblical fasting is to; humble yourself before God, worship Him, communicate with Him, to show reverence and gain guidance from Him. Fasting is all about God. when we fast, God should be our focus. We should not come with an agenda, but a desire to demonstrate reliance on God, to show humility to Him and honour and worship Him. To put ourselves under His will rather than our own and ask Him to help us in our weakness.

This concept is not popular in our modern day society. We are caught up in being independent, taught that we are able to do anything, my kids have even been told that ‘impossible’ means ‘I’m possible’ -  what is that about?!
We have been lied to folks. We have not been created to be self-sufficient beings, we cannot do everything. Some things are impossible for us. We do not have the power, the strength, the knowledge or capability to do some things. And that is ok. We are not meant to do it all on our own anyway.
We have been created not to be independent entities, but we are built for community. We are created to be in relationship with one another and with God. We are not meant to be selfishly doing our own thing or striving for independence, but actually should be striving to be fully dependent on God.

This is why fasting is important. It is about giving up even our most basic of needs to be fed and nourished in order to rely on God. It is about trusting that God is enough, and admitting that we aren’t. That is when fasting becomes powerful. When it becomes less about us and more about God.

Fasting was a common practice through ancient times as a way to show reverence and gain a closer relationship with God. People showed humility through it by demonstrating their physical weakness and dependence on Almighty God.  Jesus even did it. As he fasted he gave his attention and focus to God and demonstrated his humility and weakness through fasting to his Father God.

Do you want to show God your humility and put all your dependence on Him? If so, then I invite you to participate in some kind of fast.
The Bible includes many different styles of fasting, abstaining from food for; a meal, a day, a week, 40 days, or even abstaining from some types of ‘rich food’ as Daniel did.  Consider what is appropriate for you to do.
The practice of fasting was a part of culture and taken part in regularly, it seems we have lost something of the relevance or reverence for what it is. I think it is time to put fasting back on the agenda. Not as a one-off special, but as a regular practice in our christian lives. Are you ready to put this ancient, Biblical practice of fasting into practice.? To humble yourself and pray? To give up food in order to seek God?

Can you fast?

Entering the throne room

On the third day Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the king’s palace, in front of the king’s quarters, while the king was sitting on his royal throne inside the throne room opposite the entrance to the palace.
Esther 5:1.

Can you imagine how that felt?

You have agreed to come to this vital moment. The past few days have been a distressing, scary, vulnerable preparation for this moment. You have worried, prayed and come to no other conclusion that your fate relies on the goodness and kindness of an immoral, corrupt king. But it is not only your fate that hangs in the balance, but that of those you dearly love as well as many other thousands of lives.

You are aware that it is all now down to whether the sceptre of acceptance is held out towards you. The slight motion of the royal hand determines whether you live or die. Standing in the doorway, certain of what you must do, yet uncertain of your reception. Debating the consequences for the thousandth time. You can’t be more ready than you are now. You have personally prepared; your clothes, your mind, your words, all rehearsed and ready. You have considered how to approach, and how to win your kingly husband's favour - Is there something you’ve forgotten? No. It is time. Time to put your life firstly into the hands of God, then in the hands of this notorious, passionate king.

You do not know whether these are your last moments as you stand there. Unable even to say a tentative goodbye to those you love. You wait for the opportunity to approach, for your brave heart to kick in. Take a deep breath and just do it you tell yourself.

Taking in scene, you know this place, you have been here before, you have previously even been summoned to this place, but now you notice all the details - the intricacy of the designs, the sweet aroma, the heavy presence.
It has been a while since you’ve been here, now the environment seems even more daunting, impressive, majestic. You used to be here more often, but you seem to of fallen out of favour for some reason. For the past month the king hasn’t even wanted to see your face, let alone speak to you or anything else. So, what are you doing here?
Although the halls and passageways are familiar it feels like an intrusion to be there, and he could feel the same - There he is, the powerful, mighty king, sitting on his mighty, majestic throne. Surrounded by splendour in his seat of authority, with people of power around him.

You, a mere wife, a woman, a dispensable part of this palace. Looking in nervously, looking upon the mighty one who can seal your fate with a motion of his hand. The feeling of inferiority increases as you recognise the enormity of your task. The apprehension builds as the reality of this situation reveals itself to your anxious mind. The task now seems ridiculous and pointless. What are you really doing here? Is this going to make any difference? Isn’t it just going to end in death anyway? Shouldn’t you just turn away unseen and unheard?

Even Vashti, the great, beautiful, beloved queen before you was not as bold. She never dared enter the king’s presence uninvited, but she got ‘disposed of' - we all know what that means!

Yet, here I am, the king’s second choice (and not the only one that shares his bed!) I don’t know what is going on in this palace, let alone outside the gates, or even in the king’s mind. On top of that, he hasn’t spoken to me in over a month, or requested my presence, so what on Earth am I doing here?
It is just going to be history repeated. Just another story of the wife that got disposed of.

This offence is surely greater than that of Vashti! She refused to come, but here I am barging in!

How dare I?

What should I do?

Ok, breathe, breathe.

I am contemplating my fate, the fate of the kingdom and my precious people. Yet, this anxiety is not going to help. I know I am taking a risk - a HUGE one, but who else can do it? Yes, it is dangerous, I could lose my life, but the lives of many depend on my actions. It's time to be bold, I and my people are desperate. This panic is going to do no good. God strengthen me. I don't know what you are going to do, but I know what I must.

I have nothing. I am putting myself in a completely vulnerable and humble position. I have prayed, fasted, and so have many others. Now it is time to trust that God has a plan - I have none. I have nothing. I am nothing, and I have nothing to offer the king of the world.

I am entering the throne room as a beggar. Entering the king's presence with all to lose and all to gain.

Well, I can't stay here debating with myself forever. It is now or never. I’ll never know the outcome unless I step forward, empty-handed as I am.
I have done my best. I have prepared everything that I can. I have; prayed, fasted, considered my request. There's nothing else for it. It is time.

God be with me I breathe silently. Deep breath. It's time to enter the king's presence…

Walk Worthy

Today I have been reading Ephesians 4 which starts by encouraging us to 'walk in a manner worthy of the calling', and then lists several things that this incorporates. I noticed how each personal quality builds on the previous one. So, if we are to 'walk worthy', maybe we should consider each quality, what they mean for us and what is God showing us to work on in our lives? Where is God stretching us right now?

So, lets look at the personal qualities mentioned in this passage.

First off we have, Humility - a virtue by which a person knows themselves as they truly are. Often we can think of humility as considering ourselves as lesser than others. But this is not in the sense of putting yourself down or considering yourself lower than anyone/everyone else. It's a fair, just judgement of yourself. You are even allowed to say what you're good at. Humility is also the ability to recognise where we struggle or where we lack. We are designed to work in conjunction with others so it's alright to admit our weaknesses too. 

I think everyone struggles with either of these two elements, we are either too hard on ourselves, or we think way too much of ourselves (pride). True humility is a balance, it's hard to get right, but we can get better. How can we work in unity with others, as it speaks about in the book of Ephesians, if we don't really know ourselves, beat ourselves up or are full of selfish pride?

Next up is; Gentleness. Mild mannered, soft, kind and sensitive. To be truly gentle, we need first to be humble. We will find it difficult to be truly gentle with others if we are harsh with or think too highly of ourselves. 

Gentleness means that we each need to manage our temper. Learn to control your anger, get rid of resentment and tame our tongues so we are not harsh. We need to overcome the fierceness of our nature in order to be gentle. Gentleness requires a meekness, a willingness to listen and love with an open heart in order to provide a place of safety for others. No harsh words or outbursts, but a soft and sensitive leading to the greater love that we know is available in God.

After gentleness we have patience. Ahhh, patience or having forbearance as it's sometimes called. To tolerate problems, delay and even suffering without becoming annoyed. 

ooohhhh, waiting - no one likes waiting, or problems or suffering, but it's necessary in order to 'walk worthy'.

In order to achieve this we have to overcome the fierceness of our nature to become gentle first. Then, with God's assistance we can gain some patience!

Why do we even need patience? Well, part of patience is waiting without complaint, and no-one likes a complainer (although we probably all know one!) In life we may have to wait for some things, we may have to suffer and we will have problems - so, how do you handle it? 

Do you ask God to get you out asap? Or do you look for the lessons we are learning?

James 1:2 says, 'count it all joy my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have it's full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing'. 

Part of the christian life is the striving to become more like the perfect saviour that we know and love, Jesus. So, let us persue patience, because it matters. It declares something to the world about who we are. Faith may be tested, but what do you want to stand for and learn from those experiences? 

Bearing with one another in love. To do this effectively we need to be humble - laying aside ourselves, gentle - able to moderate ourselves, and full of patience - the ability to wait without anxiety or annoyance. 

Bearing with one another in love. Let's face it, we all make mistakes. We all at some point rub each other up the wrong way and stuff up. 

How do we get past that? 

Well, first thing we need to do is to look at ourselves, make a fair judgement of how we are, how we feel and deal with what's happening within us. Then we can approach others with an attitude of gentleness and patience. 

Learning to forgive and even overlook some things will be necessary. Watch how you speak about others, how do you talk about christians with different viewpoints or the person who lied or cheated you? 

Do you weigh them with the same scales as you weigh yourself? 

We all make mistakes, we all get things wrong, how would you like to be treated if you made the same mistakes?

Once we have understood and got these things, these wonderful qualities; humility, gentleness, patience and we are bearing one another in love, then we can maintain unity. 

WOW!

We can live in harmony with one another, but we need to get these things in place first. If this is something we truly desire, to live in peace with others in order to demonstrate God's glory, then we have work to do! 

Maybe you need to recognise and repent for some of the things you know are troubling you. 

God is available, He'll listen to you and forgive you. 

It may be that you need to go back and do this a few times, that's ok, God has unending patience - I know, He deals with me every day! 

Gradually, if you trust God to help you make some changes in order to succeed in these qualities, He will be faithful and you will see how your character develops. 

It may be that the things that really irritate you don't seem so bad after all, or you're able to manage the 'complainer' without feeling down. 

Others around you may not see a radical change, but you will feel it, and you will begin to understand what it is to have peace.