Integrity

 Matthew 5:33–37 (ESV): 

33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ 34 But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. 36 And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. 37 Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil. 

God expects those who follow, honour and respect him to live with integrity - to say what they mean and mean what they say, then get on and do it. This is not in a harsh or a cruel way, but honesty is important.

When people make oaths or ‘pinky promises’, they are only made when trying to convince someone else that they will definitely do something. If that is required to guarantee your action or inaction, why wouldn’t your general words be enough? Have you become a person who is unreliable, or is it just the cultural norm to make promises to assure your word? Whichever is true, God says that your response should, “be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’”. There is no need to complicate or over promise things. If you intend to do something say you will, if not, say you won’t, then fulfill your word. Simple! This should give the hearer all the assurance they need. Yet, in a broken and evil world and society, often assurance and promises are sought. People may want a further verbal guarantee “do you promise?”, “pinky swear?”. Do not fall for that, just let your word be enough. As a man or woman of God, you are to not live as the rest of the world does, but as people whose word is their guarantee. People often want a promise because they recognise that people are unreliable and lack integrity. So make sure that your words are trustworthy and true. Then people can grow to rely on you and see that you live to a different standard, one that emulates and demonstrates something of who God is. It is simple, let your yes be yes and your no, no. As you practice not making oaths and still completing your word, over time your reliability and integrity will be demonstrated. People will realise that you are someone that can be trusted without extensive words or swearing on someone’s life etc. Even if you become known as someone who avoids the cultural norms, you will become a person of integrity and trustworthiness, demonstrating something of the God you serve. 

When you think about it, making such oaths is just words added to words anyway, so what really is the point of them?! These additional words are meant to guarantee what you say, but what makes them any different than a yes or no? It is just people's emphasis and expectations that different words have different levels of intention. So Jesus says, let your word be enough. Do not worry that people seem dubious or offended if you do not make the promise. Just get on with speaking the simple truth and honour God through carrying out what you have said you will. 

It is also important to maintain integrity when you make an assurance to God. Jesus says, ‘you shall not swear falsely, but perform to the Lord what you have sworn’. God sees and hears everything, remember that! The things said in front of others and the things said in secret. So, if you are convicted to promise God something, be sure to complete your word. Only make a promise to God if it is within your power to do it. Then put in the effort and fulfill your word. Making a promise to God is a bid business, for how can you let a holy, righteous God down? He will keep His word to you always, so ensure you keep your word to Him. 

Making an oath to anyone, God or human in serious. Even if it seems like a simple guarantee. In some ways, living a life of faith is simple, but it does not mean it is easy. So be mindful of what you agree to even in your everyday conversations. Consider your words and assurances to God and to man. Only agree to things you can and will do, and build your reputation as person of integrity, honesty and reliability, just like the God you follow. 

Follow Me

Matthew 4:18–22 (ESV): 

While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. 19 And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” 20 Immediately they left their nets and followed him. 21 And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. 22 Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. 

These men immediately left their work and family to follow Jesus. This shows me that they must have experienced Jesus before, otherwise why would they follow him if they knew nothing of him and had never met him? Jesus did not offer money, prestige, authority or power, he just asked these young, average, working men to follow him. They already had their vocations laid out for them - they were fishermen - capable, hardworking men. 

The 4 of them probably knew each other as they were fishing in the same area, so it is likely that they grew up together, and went to synagogue together. Maybe they were even in the same lessons that are taught to Jewish boys in childhood. Yet, they did not know Jesus in the same way. He was a new rabbi in the area, teaching new, incredible things, so amazing that they were willing to leave their lives and livelihoods and bet their future on him. So, they must have encountered him before because it is a big deal to give up your job, family and community in order to follow something or someone.

Those Jesus called were all young men, especially James and John as they are working with their Dad. So it is likely that they were young teenagers (from 13 years old) being apprenticed into their father’s trade. Simon and Andrew are not mentioned as having anyone else present and so are likely a bit older as they are able to do the work themselves, plus Simon is married, so he could be mid teens up to early 20s. All of them we would still consider to be young men who were trying to make a life for themselves and provide for their families. Then they heard Jesus call out to them and they gave it all up. 

In the Israelite culture, a rabbi gathered disciples when they were considered as having enough authority to do so, at the age of 30. They would call younger men to follow them, so this indicates that most if not all of the disciples, were younger than Jesus. Being chosen to follow a rabbi was a big deal. It was unlikely to happen for anyone who had not taken extended training in the Scriptures (parents would have to pay for this). Plus those chosen would have been smart, intelligent teenagers who showed an aptitude for religion. It is unlikely that these young fisherman fit either criteria, this is why they were learning their family trade. Later on in Scripture they are referred to ‘uneducated and common’ (Acts 4:13) so it is probable that Simon, Andrew, James and John had not had this extra education, but had gone straight into work. Maybe they had not shown much aptitude or enthusiasm in study, or their parents could not afford it and so instructed them in the family business. It was these overlooked, everyday, common, uneducated young men that Jesus called to follow him. 

Jesus had a different criteria to the norm. He desired faithful followers, not necessarily clever, scholarly or rich people. These young men had been overlooked by other rabbis but he saw something in them that showed him they would make good disciples. He saw minds and lives that could be moulded and developed to make an impact and carry the message of who he is after he was gone. Jesus saw potential where others had not. He still does. Maybe you do not feel smart enough, experienced enough, overlooked, too young, too old, or that your life situation makes things difficult. Still Jesus calls you to follow him. These young men did not know what it would look like but they knew the honour it was to be called to follow a rabbi. Their families would have been overjoyed and maybe slightly confused at having their sons chosen as this was not the norm, these students were not the ones others have chosen. They were overlooked, not educated and possibly not religious enough! 

The disciples were brave in saying ‘yes’ to follow Jesus, but they also knew they were privileged and would have been excited by this new adventure. Are you? Following Jesus does not look like what you expect it to, these disciples found that out. He is not like any other rabbi - Jesus teaches radical things, performs miracles, and gets in trouble with religious and political leaders. So these young disciples were not fully sure what they were saying yes to, but they did know that it was an unexpected honour to be called. They were up for an adventure, and they trusted and believed in what Jesus said and stood for. So they left behind everything else, they gave up their lives to follow him. Have you done the same? It will be an unexpected adventure that changes the trajectory of life if you do. 

The character of Joseph

Having set the genealogy of Jesus, Matthew goes onto speak about his conception and birth. For the circumstances of the pregnancy and birth of this child were most unusual and miraculous:

Matthew 1:18–25 (ESV):

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. 20 But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” 22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: 

 23  “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, 

and they shall call his name Immanuel” 

(which means, God with us). 24 When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, 25 but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus. 

This passage of Scripture shows a humble and righteous man in Joseph. He had probably waited for quite some time before getting to officially marry Mary, the betrothal process taking up to 2 years. In Israel at this time betrothal was a long period to allow for negotiations about bride price and arrangements for the marriage to be made. It was not a private agreement between two people either, families and the wider community would be aware when a man and woman were joined together in this way. During betrothal the couple were considered legally bound to one another already, it is much more than what we may understand an engagement to be. Betrothal is an official agreement, already binding two people together that can only be broken through divorce. It is a serious commitment, and this is what Joseph and Mary had entered into. This makes the circumstances of Mary becoming pregnant so serious and devastating for them both.

During this process of betrothal Joseph finds that his promised wife is pregnant. Not only that, but she has a most unusual story as to how! No wonder he initially thought about divorcing her, she not only has been unfaithful, but is lying about it. However, Joseph did not act rashly, he considered what to do. He clearly loved Mary as he was ‘unwilling to put her to shame’, he knew what treatment would befall her as an unmarried mother. Joseph, simply referred to as a ‘just man’ acted in a respectful and honourable manner towards Mary when he did not need to. Society would likely have responded in a very different way. If she wasn’t stoned to death, Mary would at least have been ostracised. Joseph did not want that for her. Instead, he chose to love her even in the way he ‘resolved’ what action to take. He could have humiliated and shamed Mary in front of her family and the whole community, yet he honours her instead. Even though Joseph must have been heartbroken; the promise of a wife, the awaited union, the hope of family to come, all shattered as he finds out his betrothed is pregnant and he had nothing to do with it. Yet Joseph did not act out of anger or fear, or even in concern for his reputation. Instead he considered and determined his course of action. This shows he was an honourable and considerate man, sensible, not prone to anger, and he didn’t just go along with cultural norms. Joseph desired to do the right thing by himself, Mary, and his community. Even before the angel appeared to him, we can see Joseph is a kind, generous and considered man who is slow to anger. He would make a good husband and father with those qualities, no wonder God chose him.

Then, the angel comes. The circumstances of the pregnancy are revealed, and Joseph, despite his own reservations, concerns and the likely whisperings of society, is obedient to God. He did as the angel told him as soon as he woke up! He had considered and delayed his course of action before then, but as soon as he knew God had spoken, he acted. What faith and faithfulness! He did the unthinkable really, he married a pregnant young woman who was not carrying his child! Yet he did it because God said so. It would not have been easy for Joseph. He would have had awkward conversations as Mary’s pregnancy became more obvious, there would be rumours, his reputation would be called into question as well as Mary’s. It must have been difficult for them both. However, both Joseph and Mary knew what had happened and were obedient to God, even though it was scary and they didn’t know who would believe them. 

Not only was Joseph obedient in marrying Mary, but even after the official wedding ceremony is complete, Joseph chooses not to consummate their marriage until after Jesus is born. He respects God so much that he puts aside himself, his rights and desires, in order to honour both God and Mary. What a humble, sacrificial man. Joseph shows himself to be a man committed to God and doing the right thing, even at his own expense. Kind, generous and faith-filled, obedient, slow to anger, considered and considerate. It is not surprising that God chose him to be the earthly father to His son. Out of painful and difficult circumstances, Joseph got to help mould and develop the Son of God. We can see that as a great privilege, which i am sure it was, but it did not come without pain and difficulty. Joseph was willing to deny himself in order to honour God and others. If you want to make an impact in the World for God’s Kingdom, are you willing to do the same; to be obedient to God even when it is inconvenient, painful and cross-cultural? God can call you to do some amazing things, but do you have the right character for it? Joseph did.

Be Brave

‘When Mordecai learned all that had been done, Mordecai tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city, and he cried out with a loud and bitter cry. *2*He went up to the entrance of the king’s gate, for no one was allowed to enter the king’s gate clothed in sackcloth. *3*And in every province, wherever the king’s command and his decree reached, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting and weeping and lamenting, and many of them lay in sackcloth and ashes.’ 
Esther 4:1–3.

Can you imagine the scene? Can you consider the atmosphere of this pervading grief publicly displayed on the streets, in the town and even up to the very gates of the palace?
Can you envisage the sound of the city changed by people wailing in despair?
Can you conceive the smell of the sackcloth and ashes?
How about picturing the sight of many people gathering together displaying their distress?

I don't know about you, but I find it difficult to visualise, although I can capture something of the down-heartened state the citizens must of been in during that time. The scene depicted here on Esther encapsulates the response of the Jews as they become aware of the planned annihilation of their people.

Mordecai, along with many Jews publicly demonstrated his mourning over this edict. As a community, the Jews displayed their individual and corporate grief and distress. They were not ashamed, not only to cry, but even to cry, 'out with a loud and bitter cry'. Such was the extent of their distress that they even went around, ' fasting and weeping and lamenting'. 

I admire the Jews in their natural, overwhelmed, unashamed response to this horrific news. As a British citizen born and bred, it is hard to fully appreciate this response. In this country, we are taught to maintain a 'stiff upper lip' and 'put a brave face on' when we encounter times of great distress and grief. We are encouraged, conditioned, even to not let anyone know how we are really feeling. We keep the thoughts in our heads, and the emotions of our hearts well locked up, so tightly sometimes that even we ourselves can struggle to know how we feel.

I know that growing up, our family experienced some traumatic events, and even from a young age, we learned not to hide how we felt. I do not say that my family is at fault, but that the cultural expectation is 'that happened yesterday, move on'. We are encouraged to, 'sweep things under the carpet'. We do not outwardly lament, cry or express our natural responses in times of tragedy, instead we hold up our heads and keep ploughing on. We maintain the British stiff upper lip at all times, isn't that also your experience of our culture?
I know for me, as a child, I would naturally respond in fear, worry, tears, but soon found that these responses were unacceptable and unnecessary. So, I learnt to hide my emotions, if I had to cry, I would save it for the shower or under a pillow at nighttime, in fact I still do. It is hard to break the habits of a lifetime. My emotions have been hidden for so long, it is sometimes difficult for me to understand how I even feel, it take work for me to figure it out, and my loving husband often knows how I feel before I do! He is patient and kind and has modelled to me being able to express how you feel, and I do try to get there, but it is still difficult. I admire his ability to understand his emotions; state, as well as my own, and that he has freedom and confidence in expressing himself.
He reminds me of these Jews we are reading about in Esther. Unafraid, unashamed of their feelings, able to freely show their emotional state, not worrying about the response of others, but naturally displaying their emotions.

How different our culture is! Often we cannot even tell if someone is happy or sad, because we have learnt to hide it all behind a mask of indifference, behind the standard "I'm ok" response. How different would it be if we felt the permission to release our emotions in front of each other?
If we were all honest with ourselves and those around us, how would that be? Would you have the confidence or even the awareness of your own emotions to display them?

I think we have been encapsulated by the lie that it is a weakness to show how we feel, that it is not acceptable to show our emotions and that others would not like or understand us if we did. Consider the Jews in this, one by one they must of shown their grief, then one by one they realised others felt the same, then before long whole swathes of people were joining in the public mourning, they were sharing their grief, united in distress. What a strength that is. As individuals they were brave enough to show their pain to others, although sharing the pain could not resolve the situation, their was a whole community grieving together, they understood and shared each others pain. If we keep our hurt to ourselves, we have no escape from ir. We have no release from it, and we will never know the love, support and understanding of those around us.

Is it any wonder that there is grave concern in our nation about the state of our Mental Health?

Instead of 'sucking up' our emotions, or 'putting on brave faces', how about sharing our hurt with others? Give yourself permission to feel. You do not need to face the world as if nothing has happened, or remain at home languishing in despair alone. You can go out into the city, you can go to work, school, to the shops, it doesn't matter if others see your emotions pouring out of you, you are allowed to display and share your pain. You never know the people that will understand your distress, who can stand with you and cry alongside you, who can sit with you, fast and pray with you. There may well be a whole community that are with you in your despair. You are not alone in your experiences, or at least you do not have to be.
If you are not sure who to talk to, pray. Look for opportunities to talk to someone you trust, it is ok to seek advice, help, support and professional assistance, don't be afraid to face up to your emotions.
It is not brave to hide your emotions, it is far braver to face them.

Haman the horrible?

When we read the story of Esther, we often judge Haman quite harshly. After all, he is the enemy of the heroine and he has an unhealthy lust for power and renown, but, isn’t he just a product of his environment?

Haman has grown up and succeeded in a community which is dominated by power and wealth. He lives in the city where there is this incredible show of opulence. The city is a bustling place with people of importance everywhere, and it would be difficult to miss the lavish show of the king’s riches. Even if we just consider the palace - decorated with rich materials, sparkling gemstones and golden goblets what a show of extravagance! Can you imagine living in a place surrounded by such wealth? Being constantly bombarded by sights of the wealth and prosperity? Haman is. He even has access to this palace, so he sees it everyday and he would have been aware of how many of these beautiful, expensive things have been gained - through violent and passionate means.

Haman knows the reputation of king Ahasuerus - a proud, greedy, passionate man whom gets what he wants at any cost. Haman has witnessed it, and heard many stories of the king’s ruthlessness. In this kingdom, ruthless selfishness is permissible and demonstrated by the most famous and revered person of the time. This city of Susa, and the whole region of Persia are ruled by passionate impulse and selfish desires, a me-first society, so is it any wonder that Haman is ruthless in his pursuits too?

Haman has been surrounded by this system where anything goes, so isn’t he merely a product of his environment?

Haman has learned to play a part in this kingdom, he has realised that, to get the best in life, you need to get as close to the king as possible, at any cost. Haman knows that winning the king’s favour will benefit himself and his family. It will mean greater renown, respect and revenue. He knows king Ahasuerus promotes those who align themselves with him, who work to satisfy the king’s passions' and that the king is more interested in results than the manner in which they are achieved. Possessions, riches and authority are the top priority in this kingdom. Haman acknowledges this and unsurprisingly has developed the same mindset - to get what he wants, any methods are acceptable.

When we consider this character of Human, we often see a man whom we hate. Someone we feel disgusted with and whom we see evil in. That may be true, but is it fair for us to judge at all?

I am sure we can all think of people that we dislike, who we don't get along with, whose methods we think are disagreeable or even despicable. Yet, are we even aware of their influences? upbringing? expectations? Like Haman, have they been indoctrinated in a culture or society where certain things are allowable, acceptable or expected?

Do you judge people as unworthy and unacceptable because of their characteristics, personality or choices? Jesus doesn't.

Jesus came to forgive everyone who accepts Him, he even went our to meet the most unacceptable people of his culture - those who were detested by the Jews, those who lived lives of depravity and deceit - He invited them into relationship.

 So, my question to you this week is; are you willing to be like Jesus and accept the unacceptable? to form relationships with those who don't match up to your idea of a friend? Are you willing to share who Jesus is to you to those you think least deserve it? You never know, you might be giving a Haman the chance to redeem his life. You might be giving Saul the chance to transform into Paul. You never know whose life you may influence when you treat people like Jesus does.