Who are you friends with?

Did you know that there is a wrong way to pray? 

You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. 4 You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 

James 4:3–4 (ESV)

To maintain any relationship, communication is important. Talking to God (prayer) is important to grow, deepen, and solidify your relationship with God, but did you know there’s a wrong way to do it? The Bible is full of what you may consider outrageous ways to pray - people plead with God, try to change His mind, rant at Him, shout at Him, question Him. Yet this God considers ok, and the people that talk to Him like that are the people God considers friends! These people are telling God how they are really doing, what they are thinking and hoping. You can do the same - this is an acceptable way to talk to God. However if all you are speaking to God about is asking Him for things that you want just for your own self-satisfaction then that is not the right way to pray. James lets us know that asking for your passions and desires to be granted is not ok. It shows that you’ve put yourself and your wants first, not God. If you approach God as just an entity that can solve your problems and provide your desires, where’s the relationship? It is like approaching God as you would an online supermarket - preparing your shopping list beforehand, putting it all in the basket and then checking out - transaction complete. Is that how you pray? If so, know that God wants more for you. He wants to be your friend. 

How you pray shows what you think of your relationship with God and the world. In your prayer life are you asking God to make your life better and easier on Earth, or are you asking God to help you make known His kingdom here on Earth? Are you praying for worldly satisfaction or help to see things God’s way? This shows who you are choosing to be friends with - God or the world. If you’re a friend of God, you must be an enemy of the world and all it represents, so be mindful of that as you pray. 

You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

Consider now, what do you want your life to be about? Are you choosing to follow the worlds way or God’s? How you pray demonstrates what you’re about. These verses accept and acknowledge that temptation and sin exist - do you allow these things to dominate you and your prayer life? For example, do you ask God for money just because you want to spend it on things you know you shouldn’t? That’s just one example of what these verses are talking about. 

So then, how should you pray? Are you not allowed to ask God for things? Of course you are! Just think about what you’re asking for and why - in all honesty, are the things you are asking for in line with God’s best for your life? Are you asking for things you know that God wouldn’t want for you? If so, you are not being God’s friend. Imagine keep asking a friend to do something that they feel really uncomfortable with or that they know is wrong, at some point you’re likely to lose that friend and cause serious damage to that relationship. You yourself will become frustrated, angry and disappointed. We know that God is not like any human friend, He does have infinite patience and grace to forgive you and keep listening to you, but if you continue to pray for the things of the world, for passions and desires that are loved by the world but not by God, how is that going to effect you and how you see the relationship you have with God? 

whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 

You cannot be friends of God and the world. The world will lead you to sin and spiritual death, God will lead you out of it and into life. Which are you friends with? You cannot be friends with both. You cannot entertain and enjoy sin whilst saying you are a friend of God, it is not possible. Whoever you’re a friend with, whether God or the world, you’re automatically an enemy of the other. Jesus clearly tells us that you cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24), so you cannot serve the temptations and passions of the world and serve God, so what is your choice? 

Are you a disciple or part of the crowd?

I have been struck by the above question as I have been reading and pondering on the lives of Daniel, Hananiah, Azariah and Mishael in the book of Daniel. 

From the moment we meet these guys, as teenage boys, exiles in a foreign land, they have demonstrated dedication in being disciples of God. Despite the fact that they had experienced; the loss of their home, culture, lifestyle, family, and traditions, they kept following God. Even when the rest of those exiled with them, and the community surrounding them were doing otherwise. 

These four lads were not the only Jewish boys captured and brought to Babylon to be trained and educated in Babylonian life, there were others. There were other exiles, also in a similar life stage, with equable background, upbringing and lifestyle, yet these four young men continued to stand for the faith they had despite the fact that everything else in their life had change. These four recognised that even if everything else changed, God didn’t. 

They expressed this in the everyday decisions they had to make. In making their own decisions despite what the prevailing culture taught and demonstrated, in spite of what their peers were doing, or what was expected of them. We see this from the very start when they are faced with the array of food offered to them - the very same food that the king ate, and the same wine the king drank. I am sure most of the crowd were kind of excited by this prospect - the opportunity to see and taste foods they never dreamed of, even food that would not be allowed as part of their jewish heritage. As they were no longer in their own country though, did the rules still apply? even more poignant - did they want to follow them anyway as they were away from their religious leaders and their parents? These teenager boys could make their own decisions and exercise the freedom that this exile-life allowed even in the simple matters of what to eat, and who wouldn’t want to eat like a king?!

Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. They did not want to eat like kings. Well, they probably did, but they chose not to. Why? Because the Law told them that certain foods were unclean and not for eating, and in this Babylonian culture - how could you tell what was what? Which meats are acceptable and which aren’t? So these four dedicated disciples made a radical decision. They chose to avoid meat altogether, they requested to eat only vegetables and drink only water. How many teenagers do you know that would choose that kind of diet?

They did it because they wanted to honour God first. Above their own desires, the expectations and peer pressure. It could not have been easy for them. Can you imagine the taunting? The name calling, the tempting that must have gone on amongst the crowd of lads eating what they liked? 

The crowd were comfortable and content, eating as they liked, amongst their peers doing as expected.  Daniel and his friends were the odd ones out, living sacrificially, surrounded by temptation and teasing. 

Yet, is the aim of life to be comfortable? Is that the aim of yours? The crowd lead us to be satisfied with ourselves and accepting of one another. There’s comradeship, support and guidance. The same is true for the few disciples as well though. The question really is though - where are the crowd or the disciples leading us? 

Disciples lead us to God, the crowd lead us away. 

Jesus tells us the following in Matthew 7:13-14, ‘the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. *14*For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.’

If you are following the crowd, it may seem comfortable and satisfying, but do you realise that they are the many going through the wide gate to destruction? The few, the disciples, following God are searching for that narrow gate because they know that way they will find life. It is not easy, but isn’t it worth it?

Daniel, Hananiah, Azariah and Mishael sought the narrow way. They did not go along with the crowd, but searched for the narrow way - we can see that throughout the accounts in the book Daniel about how they pressed into God and away from the crowd. They stuck together in their community of believers and followers of God, even through fire, death threats and persecution. The disciples of Jesus did the same.

The 12 disciples of Jesus gave up; businesses, family, lifestyle, riches, security and comfort in order to follow him. They gave up everything in their life to get close to Jesus. They were invited to be up close and personal to God himself and they chose to do it rather than be part of the ever increasing crowd. As a result, they saw; Jesus walk in water, loaves and fishes feeding thousands, demons fleeing and many healings. They saw these things first-hand because they placed themselves in close proximity to Jesus by the everyday decisions they made. The crowd heard of these stories, but they weren’t there when Jesus calmed the storm or walked on water. They didn’t hear first-hand the conversations. The disciples did. Just like in Daniel, the few got to see God in action. 

Where do you want to be? 

Are you content and comfortable in the crowd? Or are you ready and yearning to be a disciple?

It is in the everyday decisions that we can show where we are. In; how you speak to others, who you spend time with, how you manage the school/work resources, how you deal with finances, if you just go along with everyone else just because that is what everyone else is doing. Everyday you get to show where you; in the crowd or amongst the disciples.

Whichever option you choose, there’s a cost. 

Being part of the crowd may be self-satisfying, comfortable and easier, but it leads to estrangement from God and destruction

Being a disciple will mean hardship, being in the minority, estrangement from peers, but closeness to God and life. 

So, what are you going to choose today? Are you part of the crowd or a disciple?

Are you Living?

Some people believe that to be living means; breathing, heart pumping, brain working or even being able to love and be loved, to have an income, or pursue a particular lifestyle and have fun. But is that all that living is about?

How about looking at this from the perspective of someone who believes in God and has chosen to be a disciple of Jesus - what does living mean then?

“He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.”

Matthew 10:39

Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.

Romans 6:8

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Romans 8:12-13

What do all of these verses from the Bible tell us ?............That in order to live, we must die.

What does that look like?

This does not mean to physically die, although we will all do that one day, (and so you need to be prepared for that). It does lead us to think about baptism - the physical demonstration of your life dying as you believe and put your life in the hands of Jesus. That is part of it. But, this sense of living by dying is surely more than that one act. It is a lifestyle. If you have been baptised, that is a great commitment to God, but this dying to self is worked out over a lifetime, it is not just a one-off event. That's where it starts. When you are baptised you put to death yourself and choose to live for Christ as a result, it is not like the next version of yourself, the new improved version of you - No! You have died and chosen for Christ to live in you through the Holy Spirit. This involves a whole lifetime of putting Jesus in the driving seat of your life. It means dying to the things you want and expect and what others expect of you.

Being alive in faith is about living sacrificially not selfishly. 

That looks like how you handle the big and the small things in life; 

How you speak to people, how you respond at work, the job you have, how you raise your family, spend your money, look after your body and  the possessions you have. 

To lose your life most likely means making radical decisions that the rest of society look at and think you’re bonkers! It means considering God above everything else and putting what He wants for you above what you want for yourself. I don’t speak as someone without experience here. 

There was a time in my life when I gave up the best job I ever had. Not because I wanted to, because I really didn’t, but because God asked me to. I was really upset, disappointed and reluctant to do it. I loved that job, I was successful, had a good rapport with all my colleagues, was making a real difference to the lives of young people, and God invited me to give it up to focus on family. Some people may jump at that chance, but for me it was a really difficult thing. Family at the time was so hard. I went to work for relief and to feel like I had a positive impact somewhere at least because home was, I don’t even know how to describe it, but it was emotionally, physically and mentally draining. It was were I put in my best effort but I felt like I was being dragged through the mill really. 

So, being handed this choice between work and family, between where I felt successful and a failure, it was a heart-wrenching decision. It was not easy. Dying to yourself never is is it? Being sacrificial isn’t - it’s dying a bit inside. Yet, what do you do?

You have probably guessed it already, but I did give up the job. It was not easy. It did not transform our family immediately, but it was life-changing. I didn’t particularly like it, but I did do as God asked. 

Do I regret it? No. 

I have never regretted being obedient to God, but I have regretted the times when I haven’t been. 

There are times when I have felt God prompt me to do something, maybe talk to or pray for someone and I have bottled it because I was embarrassed and fearful - those are the times I regret. Each time I have walked away feeling sad that I have missed out and that person has also missed out on potentially meeting a God who loves them. I have never once regretted talking-to or offering to pray for someone when God has prompted me to, even if they didn’t seem to respond at the time. 

God does not want us to live in fear, but it was for freedom that Christ has set us free (Galatians 5). God wants us to REALLY live. He doesn’t want us to feel like we have missed out (like I do when I don’t do what I know I should), he wants us to live free from that worry and shame. He wants us to have LIFE!

In every one of the gospels, Jesus is quoted as saying that he who wants to save his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for Jesus' sake will find it.

Do you want  to find your life? 

It means that you must start living life sacrificially not selfishly by putting Jesus on the throne of your life, not yourself or anyone else. The promise is, if you are willing to give up your life and put it in God's hands, you  will find life in all it’s fullness. It will not be easy - it is a sacrifice after all! But our life will be greater, it will be freer and you will really learn to live. 

So, do you really want to live? 

If so, how does that look for you right now? 

Maybe God is inviting you to trust Him is some way. It could be that you take the first steps in acknowledging that there is a God after all that really cares about it. It could be that God is challenging in a different way; to look at your finances, job, family, leisure time, possessions or relationship. Whatever it is, are you going to take God up on His challenge? 

Are you ready to live?

why are you worried?

As we sit in our own houses pondering life and isolation, what are your innermost thoughts?

Do you come up with a seemingly endless stream of ‘to do’ jobs around the home? Are you concerned with getting enough food to eat? Do you worry if your job is one that is going to be lost or furloughed? Are you slipping into cabin fever, feeling the most lonely you’ve ever felt? Or are you worried about your own health and that of those you love?
All of these are legitimate concerns. Most of us have had similar thoughts cross our minds.
Across the world we are all facing the same crisis, but how are you managing?
Do these concerns consume your mind or are you making peace with your situation?

I love walking, and last week as I wandered along I was considering the reality of the impact the corona virus is and will have on life as we know it. It’s a series of unknowns and a sequence of worries that run through my mind. How will we manage as a family being at home with only one outing a day? How will my kids futures be effected with reduced social interaction and educational access?
As I walked along pondering these things, I  took in the environment around me; the warm morning sunshine, bright blue sky, chasing chaffinches and lovely little lambs, the beauty of the red breasted robin and bouncing bunnies, spring-time blossom swaying in the breeze -  what a beautiful world we live in! Being around nature brought a smile to my face and I felt peaceful and grateful - what a wonderful world this is!

As I pondered these beautiful things, I realised that my worries vanished, as I began to consider the natural world I realised that none of the birds or bunnies are fussed about this virus, none of them even know what is occurring across the world. They are not consumed with the corona crisis that we are facing, in fact they are quite oblivious to it. These creatures are just living their simple life; playing, eating, resting, totally unaware of the concerns of our human minds.

So, it made me question myself - why am I concerned? Why am I distracted and allowing worry to enter my mind?
Throughout all the wars, plagues and disasters that have occurred, the birds still sing, the bunnies still bounce and the lambs still bleat. They live and appreciate their existence each day at a time. Maybe this is a time for us as humans to take lesson from the world around us.
Consider the birds, look at the lambs, and like them appreciate each day, whatever it may bring. Allow yourself to consider nature and the simple pleasures and necessities of life. Rediscover the daily joys, take your time, be present for others, take a glance at nature and see things from a new perspective.
Why not take this time as an opportunity to reflect on your life. What are the daily delights you have? Are you able to eat, rest, sleep? If so, then why worry about anything else?

‘Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?’ Matthew 6:26